Page 79 of Lady for a Season
“Any word of when we’re to be told?” Lady Honora was at Maggie’s side, looking unusually serious.
“Told?”
“If he hasn’t proposed already, he’d better hurry up. Can’t have an engagement ball without an engagement, can you?”
“He has not proposed yet,” said Maggie softly.
Lady Honora narrowed her eyes at Miss Belmont. “Perhaps he’s had second thoughts,” she said.
Maggie shook her head. “His thoughts are not his to command.”
“Not even by you?”
Maggie turned to Lady Honora in surprise.
“Oh, come now,” said Lady Honora, looking away but speaking fast. “I’m not blind. I saw you dance together. And anyone who saw that must know where his true affections lie.”
A rush of heat rose to Maggie’s neck and cheeks. “I –”
Lady Honora shook her head. “If he’s going against his desires, he should remember it’s not just his happiness that’s at stake.”
There was something odd in her voice, something desperate. Maggie looked at her friend more closely, saw her jaw tight, a glitter of tears in her eyes. “Are you – do you – are you telling me thatyoucare for Edward?”
Lady Honora let out a bark of laugh that had several people turn. “God, no,” she said.
“Then…?”
“Nothing,” said Lady Honora, draining her glass of champagne.
“I wish you would tell me.”
“Not something one can just say.”
“Not even to a friend?”
“I would tell you,” Lady Honora said, “But not in a room like this, where everyone can hear you sneeze, let alone confide…”
“Shall we go elsewhere?”
“Dinner is served,” announced the butler.
Lady Honora grimaced.
“Later?” persisted Maggie.
“If there is a later,” said Lady Honora darkly.
The dinner was endless. The array of dishes was beyond anything Maggie had ever seen at Atherton Park, the jewellery on show magnified by hundreds of candles. This was not just theton; this was the very cream of society. Only the most select had received invitations and all of them were eager to witness the event of the season, to see on which head the ducal coronet might be placed, which family were to be elevated to the very pinnacle of titles, beyond which only royalty lay. Maggie turned her head one way, following the Duchess’ lead, then the other at her signal, like a puppet. It occurred to her at some point during the tedious hours that her education as a lady must be complete, for she was able to speak acceptable nonsense to anyone seated next to her, able to spout the superficial chit-chat required by thetonwithout hesitation and without even thinking about it.
Opposite her she could see Miss Belmont frozen in place, her face pale and her movements stilted. Lady Honora, further down the table, was drinking more than usual. Only Lady Anna seemed her usual self, making spirited conversation with Lord Lymington, apparently oblivious to the fact that no announcement had yet been made.
Edward woke early on Wednesday morning, unused to the new rooms, unable to sleep. His mind was too full of contradictory thoughts. Duty and desire fighting one another, unable to find a path that would guide him to fulfilling both. Tomorrow was the ball. Today all eyes would be on him, everyone expecting him to take Miss Belmont to one side, to speak with her, to return with the announcement they were all waiting for.
Could he do it? For, once done, there could be no turning back for a man of honour. If he proposed to Miss Belmont, he would go through with the wedding.
But he loved Maggie. And what honour was there in marrying a woman without love, knowing his heart belonged elsewhere? His mind was filled with Maggie, it was all he could do not to think of her in every waking moment, not to dream of her each night. He wanted to marry Maggie, but doing so was a dangerous move, one which might find him locked away for the rest of his life. Yet what was his life without her?
He dressed by himself, not bothering with a cravat, leaving his collar loose, pulling on his waistcoat and breeches, his boots, deciding to forgo his jacket; the day would already be warm, and the horses would not care if he were not properly dressed. He ran down the stairs and out of the house, startling a housemaid and one of the gardeners along the way. At the stables, there were only a couple of grooms about, the stableyard quiet.
