Page 51 of Puck'n Bully
When he’s no longer moving, I pull my mouth away and look over at him.
Liam stares at me with wide, horror-filled eyes as he takes in the mess he’s made in my mouth.
Wiping a hand over my lips, I grin at him and stick my tongue out. “See? I didn’t let any of that cream go to waste.”
“Hayden,” Liam says in a quiet voice. His blue eyes shimmer with unshed tears as his lips start trembling uncontrollably. “Please...just go.”
The bitterness in his voice is like a splash of ice water, drowning the fire raging in my body. Liam should be feeling euphoric after that orgasm. Instead, he looks like he’s about to cry.
My heart breaks all over at the sight. “You need to stop pretending like you don’t want me.”
Liam sits up and swipes his hand impatiently over his eyes. “You don’t get to come in here, acting like you care about me,” he says, quickly pulling up his shorts. “You don’t get to push me away whenever you want and act like you don’t even know me.”
“You don’t understand,” I try to explain myself to him. “No one knows I’m gay. I can’t let them find out about me or I might lose my spot on the team. This is the final season I’ll get to play college hockey. If I don’t do well enough, I’ll lose my chance to get drafted into the NHL. I—I can’t lose this opportunity, Liam.”
“I’m not telling you to give up on hockey,” he says, meeting my gaze. “I’m just telling you I can’t live in the dark like your dirty secret. I can’t let you ignore me in front of your friends and then come here in the night to take advantage of me.”
Closing his eyes, he lets out a heavy sigh. When he stares back at me, his gaze is cold. Distant.
“I understand you’re not ready to come out yet, Hayden,” he says in a quiet voice. “That’s why I let you go. I walked away from you and have stayed away from you. You can go back to playing hockey without worrying about me leaking your secret. I’ll never do that to you. You can trust me.”
“So, what are you saying? Will you be with me?”
“No, Hayden. You have to let me go.” His lips wobble as tears stream down his cheeks. “Please, don’t come back here again.”
“Liam,” my voice falters as an ache goes through me.
He shakes his head, pulling a sheet to cover himself. “Please...just go.”
I slowly get off the bed and straighten up. Liam won’t even look at me anymore. For the first time, realization dawns on me.
I’ve truly lost him.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I walk to the door and close it behind me.
Pain, like I’ve never felt before, stabs through me. It’s so bad, that I have to lean against the grimy wall. The sound of people arguing reaches my ears, thrusting me back to reality.
Liam and I live in two very different worlds and as long as I play hockey, he can never be a part of mine. The reality of my situation hits me like a stick in the face from an opponent.
Fuck.
17
Liam
My eyes burn from the lack of sleep. Resisting the urge to yawn, I bend down to slightly adjust the spectrometer that’s a part of my experimental setup.
A steady hum fills the lab as glowing red lines cast a mesmerizing network over the optical table. Dr. Blanton, one of the most respected researchers in the faculty and my academic supervisor, stands close by, reviewing the data in my notebook.
“You’ve done an amazing job, Liam,” Dr. Blanton says with an approving nod. “Your experimental set-ups have produced some solid analysis.”
“Thank you,” I say quickly.
A sliver of relief floods me. I was not ready for this meeting today but Dr. Blanton was insistent on it for some reason.
My mind still feels scrambled from my confrontation with Hayden last night. I wanted to take the day off to brood over the end of my tragic love story and drown myself in brownies and chocolate ice cream but I had to be here.
Dr. Blanton’s lips quirk in amusement as he glances at me. “That’s exactly the kind of enthusiasm we need in our research team.”
