Page 19 of His Secure Embrace
A few weekslater
JAMES:
Good evening, my love. Our reservation is set for seven o’clock. Would you prefer I pull up on you, or you pull up on me? Either way, I’m driving us to the spot.
I laughed at his message. James wasn’t the best texter, but it was because of his tiresome schedule. He’d text me when he had free time, and that wasn’t very often. He was vocal about days when he couldn’t text or talk for long. It reassured me he cared about my communication style. If I could, I’d have him on FaceTime all day, but it wasn’t realistic for the type of work hedid. Plus, one thing I’d learned about James was that he loved to take naps. He could sleep anywhere as long as his back was supported. It was cute.
ME:
I’ll pull up on you with my spend the night bag.
JAMES:
Say no more. Are there things you need me to stock the house with to make your stay more comfortable?
ME:
Awwwww. You’re literally the most considerate man I’ve ever met. My daddy ain’t even this damn considerate and I was his first child. But, um…. I think as long as you’ve got snacks, cozy blankets, and hoodies for me to steal, we should be good.
JAMES:
I’m not even gon’ hold you, baby. You not gon need no clothes while you over here.
My squeal would have shattered glass at the octave it hit. James was damn near insatiable. We’d fooled around on the phone twice. Each time he’d talk me through a nut, the more the tension built between us. I couldn’t wait to feel him inside of me for the first time. I couldn’t wait to see just how good he was at getting the nut out of me in person.
Once I finished packing my purple spend the night duffel bag, I set it by the front door and went over to the desk.
I opened the pink journal and grabbed the blue gel pen. I opened it to a fresh page after flipping through five months of journal entries. With a deep breath, I let the pen glide to bring my thoughts to the pages of the journal.
Hey bestie.
I miss you more than words can express. I miss your laugh. I miss your advice. I miss your presence. I miss your phone calls. I just really really really miss you, girl. I wish you were here to ease my nerves about James.
We met the day you died. For a little while, I blamed him. Had I not been with him by the food trucks, we may have been able to run before you caught a stray.
My hands shook as my eyes burned with tears. This was the first time I’d vocalized a feeling I’d tried to suppress for months. It was an irrational thought, but the thought still made me have reservations.
Anyway, tonight is our first date. Should I tell him about these feelings? Should I release the fear and go for it? You know my track record with men. They build up a good game and I still end up lonely after we fuck. I feel like James is different, but the doubt is still there.
I wish you could give me a sign he’s supposed to be my person. One time is a coincidence, but twice is a sign… Right?
I’ll be back in a couple of days to fill you in on all the tea of the date. I love you, Jana. So much.
With love, your Jewel.
“You have a beautiful home,” I commented when James let me in through the front door. The two-car garage was spacious, and the driveway was paved in bricks. The home was two stories with four bedrooms. Two of them were guest rooms. He had a designated game room and his bedroom.
“Thank you. I’ll give you a more thorough tour later. I’ll put your bag in my room, and we can head out.”
“Sounds good.”
He grabbed the purple duffel and walked up the stairs to his room. While I waited, I admired the decor of the room. The black and white aesthetic fit his personality. The large TV mounted on the living room wall was enhanced with surround sound speakers and there was a reclining sectional. I loved how comfortable James’s home looked. I could tell he prioritized his comfort more than style. It fit him.
“Ready?” James asked when he returned from upstairs.
“Yes.”
It didn’t take long for us to climb into his large SUV and get on the road. He had his music playing low on the speakers while we talked.
