Page 29 of His Secure Embrace
“Take some breaths, mama. You’ll be okay.”
“Thank you for being so gentle with me. It feels like I haven’t had any time to just exist. My baby is always crying. I have no one to help.”
“Is that what you’re here for? You know James?” I asked as I tore my eyes away from the beautiful baby girl to look at her.
She chuckled. “I know James very well. He’s the father of my baby.”
My ears rang as her words repeated in my head.
James is the father of her baby.
“Huh?”
“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” she asked with a humorless chuckle.
“No . . . he didn’t. How long ago did you have her?”
“She was technically a preemie. She was born at thirty-four weeks. She spent over a month in the NICU. We’ve been home for about three weeks. I’ve been blowing his phone up, begging for him to help me. It’s been so stressful.”
My heart shattered.
If it weren’t for the small bundle of joy in my arms, I would have fallen to my knees.
James was dealing with baby mama drama and didn’t tell me. He claimed he was falling in love with me, making me feellike I was in a fairytale romance, and the whole time . . . he was out here ignoring the mother of his child and premature baby girl.
“I’m sorry. Can you give me a moment?” I asked as I held her baby out for her to take.
She grabbed the baby and kissed her forehead. “I didn’t know what else to do than to pull up on him. I need help. I need a break. She needs her father.”
Just as I was about to reply, I felt James’s presence. He’d emerged from his car and grabbed a few bags from the passenger seat. He looked at me with a smile, but the smile fell as soon as he saw the other woman.
That was all the confirmation I needed. There was no way her story was made up by the reaction James had when he saw her. It was like he’d seen a ghost.
“Excuse me.”
I went back inside and blinked away tears. He said all that bullshit about liars, and yet he was the biggest one. How could he lie to me like that? How could I ever trust him? I’d spent all this time falling in love but had no clue who James really was.
I was so fucking stupid.
I went into the bedroom and retrieved my duffel bag from the closet floor. I opened it and angrily tossed my things into the bag. I left everything he bought me during my stay here though. I refused to take anything he’d given me back to my house as a reminder of the whirlwind romance we had for the last several weeks.
My vision became blurry as the tears fell freely. My heart ached. I became physically ill. The nausea was bad. I had to stop and bury my face in my hands. I took several calming breaths, but the bile continued to inch up my throat.
I needed to leave. It was the fact that James hadn’t bothered to come talk to me that hurt the most. He didn’t stop me from packing, he didn’t plead his case, or anything.
“Fuck! How could I be so stupid?” I cried as I angrily wiped at my eyes. The duffel bag weighed a thousand pounds, but really barely held twenty pounds, as I slung it over my shoulder and made my way to the front door.
As I reached for the knob, James pushed it open. He took one look at me and the dam burst again.
Fuck.
“Mama toldme you’ve got a little girlfriend,” Jasmine commented as we headed back to her crib.
Rose was in the back seat knocked out. She’d had a fun day with Uncle James. We went to the carnival, the mall, and a food truck for tacos. They’d spent a nice check on the outing, but I didn’t mind. The smile on her face was enough to make me spend my whole savings account on her.
Every moment I spent with Rose, I pictured what my kids with Brielle would be like. If my niece, sister, and mother got whatever they wanted out of me, I couldn’t even imagine the chokehold my offspring would have.
“I’m going to marry this girl, Jas.”
