Page 42 of Ambrosia Kisses
"No. Yes." I huff out a breath before snagging another piece of bread from the bowl. "It's been so long since I felt this happy. I guess I'm afraid that it's going to be ripped away again. My future is a great big question mark right now, just like it was last time. What am I supposed to do?"
"You're supposed to stay."
"I don't have a job."
"So? All kinds of law stuff happens around here." Lucy waves her hand dismissively. "I'm sure something will come up if you're patient enough."
"I can't just not work." My dad and grandpa would lose their minds if I just decided to skip out on a job for a while. They nearly lost it when Pierce joined the Navy instead of following in their footsteps, and then we lost him. If I tell them that I've decided to take a gap year or whatever, they'll cut me off just to make sure I have no choice but to work. And I can't just depend on anyone else to support me. I wasn't built that way.
"You can do whatever you want," Lucy says softly. "It's your dream."
I bite my lip. "What if my dreams don't look the same anymore, Luce?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. I guess I spent so long buried in law school and in putting one foot in front of the other while I followed in their footsteps because it kept me sane, but…I think maybe I've just been telling myself that's what I want," I whisper. "It doesn't feel like it fits anymore." I shrug helplessly, not sure how to explain. I don't want to give up law. I'd never give it up because Idowant to help people. But I guess maybe I don't want to shape my life to fit that dream. I want the dream to fit my life for once.
"You're allowed to change, P. You're allowed to want something different. If Ridley is part of that, then talk to him. It's going to keep eating at you until you do."
"I know," I whisper because she's right. I need to talk to him. Last time I didn't talk to him, everything imploded. I don't want to travel that same broken road this time. I want to do it right. I'm just…scared. I guess a tiny part of me feels like this is all too good to be true. It's just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
What happens if it does?
I really, really don't want to find out.
But…hiding from it won't make it go away. That just makes me a coward. And I've been there, done that. I can't do it again now, not when the cost is so damn high.
Chapter Ten
Ridley
"Ridley." Alexa Warner looksup from her desk as soon as I step into her cramped office, her blue eyes narrowing on me. "Please do not tell me that you're in some kind of trouble. My dad will be pissed."
"No, I'm good."
"Thank God." She grins, leaning back in her seat with a pen still dangling between her fingers. "He says your dad and uncles caused him enough problems when they were younger."
"Why am I not surprised?" I ask, shaking my head. Her dad, Brent, was a cop in Santa Maria for most of my life. He spent a lot of time at the vineyard with my dad and uncles before he retired to the beach a few years ago.
Alexa laughs quietly, motioning at a chair pulled up across from her desk. She seems to realize she's still got the pen in her hand because she grimaces before stuffing it into an overflowing cup of pens beside her monitor. "If you aren't in trouble, what do you need?"
"A job."
She blinks at me, taken aback. "Uh…did you get a law degree I wasn't aware of?"
"I'm not here about me."
"Yeah, I'm not following," Alexa says. "Who needs a job?"
I run a hand through my hair, muttering a curse. "Her name is Paisley Molina."
"Paisley?" The confusion clears from her expression, replaced with a smile. "Lucy's friend from Stanford, right?"
"Yeah. You know her?"
She nods, her blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders. "Of course. We've met a few times. She's looking for a job?"
"She just passed the bar."
