Page 48 of Ambrosia Kisses
"You really aren't leaving?" she finally whispers.
"Not unless it's with you," I murmur, brushing hair out of her face.
Her wide eyes meet mine.
"If you take the job in Los Angeles, I'm going with you. That's what you heard today, Dimples," I say softly. "We were talking about my plan to follow you to LA."
She bites her lip and then drops her gaze, her head bowed. "I'm a jerk."
"You're scared."
She nods solemnly. "I've been waiting for you to ask me to stay."
"I couldn't."
"Oh."
She doesn't ask why, but I hear the question echoing in the silence between us. "You've already lost too much, Paisley. And you've worked too goddamn hard for me to be selfish and ask you to give up anything else just to be here with me. Your dreams matter to you." I dry her cheeks with my fingertips. "So I'll go wherever they take you."
"I want to stay here," she whispers.
A grin tugs at my lips. "I know. That's why I went to talk to Alexa Warner today."
Her brows furrow like she remembers the name but doesn't understand the significance of it.
"She's a prosecutor with the DA's office."
Paisley's eyes widen. "W-what did you go to see her about?"
"A job." I tip her head back with a finger beneath her chin. "That's what I was worried wouldn't work out. Not us, the job."
"Oh," she whispers against my lips.
"We're going to work out, Paisley. We would have three years ago if we'd just talked. And I'm so fucking sorry that I messed it up back then, baby. It kills me that I hurt you. I can't go back and fix that now. I wish to God that I could, but I can't," I whisper. "What I can do is promise you that it won't happen again, baby. I won't ever walk away again. I won't ever let you down again. But if you have fears or doubts, I need you to come to me with them, not run from me because of them. I can't address them if you don't share them."
"I don't like secrets, Ridley," she whispers. "They make me feel like I don't have any control. I need to feel like I have some control, or I freak out."
"Because of what happened between us last time," I mutter.
"No." She rolls slightly, folding her arms together on my chest and then propping her head on top of them. "Because of Pierce. His mission was classified. We didn't even know where he was going until after…" A shadow passes across her face. "Well, wedidn't know. Even before that, I spent a lot of years and a lot of time not knowing where he was, if he was okay, or when he'd be back. All I could do was worry. And then, one day he just…didn't come back."
"I'm so fucking sorry, baby," I whisper, wishing like hell I could bring him back for her, but I do understand where she's coming from. For her, there's safety in control. There's comfort in knowing. And after a loss like that, where I'm guessing she still doesn't have all the details because the mission was classified, feeling like she has a little bit of control is the one thing that keeps her moving forward.
I love that she gives it up to me so easily. She trusts me to keep her safe and to protect her. But there are limits. For her, there probably always will be. She lost her brother and won't ever have all the answers as to how or why. I can live with her needing to know what's happening in her life. If she needs that to feel safe and secure, I can give it to her.
"I talked to Alex today to ask her to hire you on," I murmur. "She couldn't make any promises, and I don't want to get your hopes up, but she's going to float your name in front of the DA and see what she can do."
"I've interviewed in a lot of places," she says.
"Yeah, but you haven't interviewed in therightplace, Paisley. Even if the job here doesn't come through, the place you're meant to be will materialize."
She doesn't say anything for a long moment, processing that. "You'd really move to LA with me?"
"If that's where you end up? Absolutely. It's not my favorite city in the world, but anywhere with you is home to me."
She cracks a smile, her gaze flickering across my face. "So…we're really doing this, huh?"
"Fuck yeah, we are," I whisper, slipping my hand into my pocket. I pull out the ring I bought her three years ago, clutchingit in my fist. "You want to know where I went the morning after Lucy and Oliver's wedding?"
