Page 49 of The First Cut
“Sorry,” some guy says as he walks toward it, the lights flashing as he unlocks it with his fob.
I walk back to the truck, passing Hannibal without looking at him. Yanking the door open, I don’t wait for him to help me in, even though I look as graceful as a drunk elephant trying to do it alone.
He climbs into the driver’s seat and blows out a frustrated breath. “How about you tell me what happened so I don’t keep saying shit that sets you off.”
“Sets me off?” His words ignite a fire inside me. “I’m sorry if my pain and suffering is such an inconvenience. I’ll try to do better next time, sir.” I mock, clipping my belt in place.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I’m just saying if you fucking speak, then others will?—”
I whirl on him. “You think I want their pity after years of being forced to deal with their anger and disgust? I don’t owe anyone anything. Not you, nor Havoc, and sure as fuck nobody that wears a Ravens cut. I don’t have to tell you anything. That’s not what this is. You want an old lady to fuck and watch your kid. I don’t have to spill my guts to you to do that.” My chest is heaving by the time I’m finished. I know I lashed out, and I know I’m probably overreacting, but I’ve bottled all of this up for years and he pushed the wrong damn button.
He pulls out of the gas station, making the tires squeal as he grips the wheel so tightly that his knuckles bleed white. The sight of them feels like a bucket of cold water being thrown over me. I feel my heart speed up for a different reason now. God, how could I have been so stupid? I know better than to make men mad.
I turn my head so it looks as if I’m gazing out the passenger window. But really, I have my eyes squeezed so tightly shut that it makes my head throb. What if he doesn’t want me anymore and throws me back to Driller? Or lets Driller’s enemies have me? Or maybe he thinks Driller had the right idea. Maybe he can beat the idiot out of me. That’s what Driller was always trying to do, but I guess I was too dumb for that to work.
I bang my head against the glass, trying to shut up the sound of my voice speaking Driller’s words, but the panic is making it harder to focus. The thought of Hannibal turning on me is terrifying. Not just because I know he could hurt me, but because I like him and I don’t like many people. I bang my head against the glass again as a sob slips free. I suck in a horrified gasp as the truck pulls over to the side of the road and stops.
Before I know what’s happening, Hannibal has me out of my seat and in his lap, his arms wound tightly around me. “Breath for me, Lola. Slow and steady. Okay. I need you to calm down. You’re safe with me. Your baby is safe with me.”
I sob again, pressing my head against his collarbone as the tears fall down my face.
“Baby,” he whispers as if my tears physically hurt him. And dammit if that doesn’t make me cry harder.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad. I’m sorry. I’ll do better,” I whisper, ending in a hiccup.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Lola. Yes I’m mad, but not at you. I’m fucking pissed that until I came along, you had noone. Not one fucking person to have your back. I’m not mad you yelled at me. I’m glad, actually.”
I lift my head, unsure if I heard him right.
His jaw tightens as his eyes move over my tear-stained cheeks. “You didn’t hold back and hide. You trusted me at that moment, to let go. I was the one who fucked it all up by reacting the way I did. I’ll work on that.”
I frown. My confusion must be evident, but he just leans down and kisses the tip of my nose.
“You’re right. It’s not my business, and you owe me nothing. But I want to be the person you come to. The one who holds you up when you don’t have the strength to do it. I’ll cut, kill, and bury anyone for you.”
I chuckle through my tears. “I’m not sure that’s how the saying goes.
“Don’t care. I mean it. Just wait until I get my hands on Driller.”
“You’ll kill him for me?”
“Oh, I’ll do more than kill him. I’m going to give him a bruise for every one he gave you, a cut for every time you bled?—”
I cut him off by kissing him, pouring every ounce of relief and gratitude into it because I believe him. I have zero doubt that the second he gets his hands on Driller, it will be game over for him. And then I’ll be free, even if it’s just from the mental cages in my head I built to protect myself.
He lets me control the kiss for a moment before he takes over, his tongue dancing with mine as his hands slide into my hair, holding me in place. There’s no urgency in his kiss, no sense of being rushed. He’d sit here at the side of the road and kiss me all night if that’s what I needed.
I feel myself getting choked up again so I pull away. “Thank you.”
“For kissing you?” He cocks a brow.
“For not holding my freakout against me. I’m not sure what even set it off.”
“The mention of the club. You tense up, and then you become defensive. I know this is going to be hard on you. I wish I was taking you anywhere but home, but I don’t have a choice. Besides, these assholes need to answer for what they’ve done.”
“It’s not so much what they’ve done. It’s what they didn’t do.”
“That doesn’t make it better. If I stood and watched Midas getting attacked and did nothing, then I’m part of the problem. It’s playground bullying tactics because if nobody stands up to him, he feels justified in his actions.”
