Page 85 of The Quiet Wife
Frances didn’t know what to say or think. Jemie looked faintly guilty, mixed with a dab of pride and a huge amount of indecision.
He fidgeted as though debating how much to say before clearing his throat. “I have a son. Charles. He is almost four years old.” He cleared his throat again and cast her a worried glance.
“But you are not married?”
He shook his head.
“Ah. Um… the child’s mother?”
Jemie moved to a chair and slumped down in it, rubbing his hand over his forehead. “It was a brief affair. She was a chambermaid, but I was awfully fond of her. When she became…” he waved his hand about presumably to indicate pregnancy, then continued. “I asked her to marry me, but she turned me down.”
Frances’ eyes widened. “Why? If you loved each other?”
His smile was wry. “She didn’t love me. She had ideas, plans that she wouldn’t be a servant forever, and… well, being the wife of an American artist wasn’t what she planned for herself.She was going to get things… sorted out, but I begged her not to.”
“Sorted out?” Frances asked weakly as she sat in the chair opposite. It was clear from the way his eyes widened that the woman in question had planned on trying to have the pregnancy ended.
“She had the child, and I took him. I was having a… relationship with a…” He hesitated, “different woman at the time and, well, she took the child on. Charlie still resides with her, even though our relationship has ended now. I’d love to have him with me, but it’s more settled for him this way and I visit as often as I can.”
“That’s where you go when you disappear?”
“Often, yes,” he flushed.
Frances realised that not all the world conformed to the rules and strictures that she did, but this was a surprise she hadn’t anticipated.
“A relationship? You mean you were not married to her? This lady who cares for your son.”
Jemie smiled like a child who knows they’ve done something wrong but hopes that they won’t be chastised too severely.
“I’m…” she blinked. “So, your son from one ex-lover lives with another of your ex-lovers?” How many ex-lovers did he have? The way he spoke it seemed as though there was a trail of them littered in his wake.
He had the grace to look sheepish. “Well, yes, when you put it that way, I suppose it doesn’t sound too good.”
“Not exactly. Does your mother know?”
Jemie snorted. “Of course she does. My mother knows everything.”
She couldn’t quite bring herself to ask Anna’s opinion of the situation. She couldn’t work out how she felt either. She thought she knew him.Thought she understood him. Yet here he was, telling her about his lovers and his child. She supposed she was very provincial, but even so, this was a shocking revelation. And if she was being honest with herself, it stung deeply because she thought they had forged a genuine friendship, yet he’d ample opportunity to tell her this previously and hadn’t.
“You must miss him.” Frances couldn’t imagine living away from her children when they were at such a tender age.
“I do.” He admitted, his gaze softening. “He’s so full of life. So inquisitive. I’m convinced he’s going to be a child prodigy. Truly, he’s the most intelligent infant I’ve ever known.”
Frances nodded, remembering the feeling well when Freddie was little. And with the girls in turn, who each had shown an exceptional quality that made her flush with pride.
Eventually, Jemie broke the silence that had fallen between them. “Do you hate me?”
Frances studied the man in front of her. His wild hair, his beautiful hands, and his searching eyes that could glitter with fury, yet could look at her with such sensitivity and yearning and melt into adoration as he thought of his child. This man had a heart, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. He had been there for her time and time again during the most difficult of moments.
“I’ll admit you’ve taken me by surprise. I thought I knew you well, but it seems I don’t.”
“You do know me, you just didn’t know this part. Don’t hate me,” he pleaded with her.
She fiddled with her sleeve. “I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could ever hate you. I just feel…” she shook her head. “I need some time to think about everything you’ve shared.”
“Of course.” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, they were tinged with sadness.
“Do you… do you think we could do this later?” she gestured to the dress. She didn’t think she could sit for her portrait now after his revelation. For the first time since she’d met him, she needed time away from Jemie. Time to think.
