Page 41 of It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
‘Yeah, Ineverwent swimming at dawn. What maniac would choose swimming lessons over an extra two hours in bed? Well, except for my robotic brother, obviously.’
I caught a glimpse of Tom’s dimples reappearing, which I hoped was a safe sign.
‘It all just poured right out of me, didn’t it?’ he said. ‘I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’
I looked down at my hands and picked at a piece of dirt that had lodged itself beneath my thumbnail.
‘Yeah, I’m just a bit tired. It’s been a long day.’
The silence stretched out. And this time I didn’t have the energy to fill it, to change the subject, to act like I wasn’t wounded. Tom eventually spoke.
‘Mally, I’m really sorry about suggesting your life has been easy. That was so, so shit of me.’
‘Yeah, it was a bit.’
Tom pounded the inside of his wrist against the steering wheel once, muttering, ‘Fuck, I’m such an insensitive twat,’ as he did so.
‘You’re not. Not for the most part anyway.’ I caught his eye and nudged his gearstick-clutching arm gently to make it clear this was a joke. ‘And I can see how my life must’ve looked that way to you – at one stage, anyway. But privilege comes in all shapes and forms, you know? Sometimes it’s not about money, but all the other ways people feel comfortable without even realising it.’
Neither of us broke the silence that followed this time. I noticed we were practically at the house anyway.
‘Okay, yeah it’s just down this lane.’
Tom pulled into the narrow private road and cleared his throat before speaking.
‘There was uproar when the developers put the planning application in for these new-builds, you know? Do you remember there used to be allotments here?’
Gosh, I did. My grampy had had one. He’d practically lived on it after my nan had died. I wondered if Mum knew they’d been tarmacked over – the allotments had been a special place for her, too. But it’s not like I could just drop her a casual message to ask. It would be the equivalent of an atomic bomb for her.
‘That was here?’
‘Yeah, it was a sad day when they got flattened.’
Tom helped carry my shopping to the performative porch as I searched my handbag for the key, not easy with shaking hands.
‘I’d better be off, Mally. I’ve got a long day tomorrow and need to get my own shopping in the fridge so…’
‘Yeah, of course, of course.’
I was still fumbling around my handbag for the key when I remembered it was in my coat pocket all along.
‘Aha! Got it. That really would’ve been the cherry on top of this evening.’
He flashed me a two-dimensional grin as he walked back towards his car.
I began to carry my shopping through to the kitchen. By the time I returned to the porch to fetch the final lot of bags, Tom Brinton and his shiny car had gone.
Chapter 11
?Small-town guy is secretly talented
Before I’d even opened my eyes the next morning I was consumed by anoverriding sense of unease. It wasn’t helped by the fact that I’d sleptbadly, desperately missing my non-lumpy pillows back at my flat.
My loose plan for today had been to go on a little drive around the village to see what else had changed – and what hadn’t – while also keeping my eyes peeled for any provincial festive shenanigans for my article. But with the car at Ryan’s garage for goodness knows how long, and torrential rain that didn’t appear to be going anywhere, I had no idea what the hell I was meant to do until dinner at The Star later, which Elle had booked for me.
I decided I might as well stay in bed for as long as possible before my urge to crack into my stash of cereal would inevitably force me into a more vertical position. While horizontal, I replayed the previous night’s conversations with Tom over and over in my head. Until the subject of his upbringing came up, it had been a really nice evening with him and Jo. Then I’d gone and put my foot in it and the night had derailed from there. The awkwardness with which we’d parted ways weighed heavily on me. But it wasn’t as if we had any kind of friendship that I felt the urge to repair, and I didn’t even have any way of contacting him. Which was probably for the best.
I stretched the consuming waves of cringing away and reached for my phone.
