Page 17 of Bad Influence
‘How did it go at work today?’ Mum asked.
‘Depressing,’ I replied. ‘To be honest I’m glad to be out of there. Shauna was trying so hard not to gloat it was embarrassing.’
I managed to dodge answering any further questions, because I spotted an open Colin the Caterpillar cake box, a few remaining pieces inside, the white chocolate Colin head in there too. I fingered it, pulling the chocolate towards me, ready to help myself. Being with family made me behave in a way I never would at a friend’s house.No airs and graces. Everything that’s theirs is mine.
From nowhere, Nora helicoptered towards me at speed. Like a wild animal pouncing on its prey, she artfully glidedacross the tiled floor, skidding to a halt on her impressively fast pink socks.
‘Nooooo!’ she screamed, arms outstretched.
Then, using the breakfast bar to bring herself to a sharp standstill, she shouted urgently, ‘Stop! That’s the best part! Don’t eat the head – it’s mine! It’sMYbirthday andIwas saving it!’
‘Okay, okay. Don’t panic!’ I dropped the head and raised my arms like it was a hold-up. ‘It’s all yours.’
‘Do you think I could steal you upstairs for a minute?’ Lucy said, coming up beside me, to save me from Nora’s wrath.
I followed her up the carpeted steps from the hallway. I loved Lucy’s house. After a recent refurb it was the kind of cosy, tastefully decorated family home that made you feel like everything was going to be okay. It had curtains with pelmets and framed family pictures on the walls. The pale greys, greens, and cream were nurturing and calm. I wondered if I would ever be this grown-up.
Lucy sat on the side of her king-size bed, her eyes drifting to the wardrobes to her right. The doors were closed.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked.
‘I’m fine,’ she whispered.
‘Are you sure?’
She glanced sideways at the wardrobe. ‘Well, I do have a bit of news.’ She stood up and opened the final door of their white wardrobes.
A sinking feeling gripped my stomach as she laid down the wedding gown, still in its protective case, across the bed.
‘You hate it.’ I pre-empted. ‘You can be honest with me, sis, I’m a big girl now.’
‘It’s not that—’ Her voice trailed off. ‘It’s more that it’s not going to fit me.’
‘Lucy, it’s fine. I know the team at Pronovias really well. We can arrange a visit and have it altered, it’s not a problem,’ I said cheerily, putting my arm around her shoulder. ‘It’s your wedding dress – it’s got to be perfect.’
She bit her bottom lip. ‘I don’t think that will cut it, I’m afraid. I mean it’sreallynot going to fit.’ Her eyes were glassy. ‘I’m going to be a pregnant bride. A heavily pregnant bride.’
My mouth dropped open. I flung my arms around her. ‘Wooooww! I never would have guessed that one!’
Lucy being pregnant was big news. When she gave birth to Nora seven years ago at home, the first words she said as I arrived a few hours later to meet my new baby niece were, ‘If I ever so much asthinkI will do this again, please remind me of this moment – and shoot me.’
To be fair, Nora’s birth was traumatic. After a prolonged labour, she finally arrived by forceps on the sofa at Lucy and Rory’s flat, after the planned Zen water birth Lucy had been prepping for couldn’t go ahead safely because Nora was a large baby and was basically stuck. Things had progressed and it was not safe to move Lucy to hospital for an epidural, so an emergency team came to her. After a ripped perineum, several stitches, a lot of swearing, and Rory fainting later – Nora finally arrived, screaming and very cross with the world, like a little red gargoyle, all ninepounds of her. It didn’t seem possible that our petite Lucy could produce such a large baby. Lucy didn’t even have any photos from the very first moments of holding her baby, because Rory was out of action. ‘The front room looked like an abattoir – no one needs to see this,’ she told me.
‘And I’m spitting because the hypno-birthing course was a total waste of money. Money we could have spent on a night nurse.’ Then she burst into tears. ‘It’s only been a few hours and I’m already a shit mum because I hated my birth and I’m absolutely gutted that my fucking fanny is never going to be the same. My life is over!’
‘Of course you’re not!’ I had dutifully protested, reminding her she was due a painkiller. I took the bundle of new life, who smelt of malted milk biscuits, and held her tenderly in my arms.
‘Isn’t it amazing?’ I murmured, enjoying the comforting feeling of Nora’s warm little body next to mine. ‘You created this perfect human.’
Lucy sighed.
‘You did the best you could possibly do for her, Luce,’ I continued. ‘She’s here and she’s healthy. You shouldn’t punish yourself for something so out of your control. I love you both very much.’
Nora gurgled, wrapped her tiny hand tightly around my little finger and stared back at me with a mixture of milk-drunk bemusement and total adoration. I’m sure we cemented our special bond at that moment.
Time was a great healer for Lucy. Gradually she was able to talk about the birth without breaking down in tears andshe was a brilliant, devoted mum, but still, it was a lot, and I could understand why she and Rory had decided to stop at one.
‘We count ourselves lucky’ was how they looked upon it. And that was that. Until now.
