Page 35 of Bad Influence
With Mandy’s outfit confirmed, I went back to my bedroom to quickly shower and get ready for the day. I opted for my staple uniform of black trousers, a grey Uniqlo roll neck and my trusty Veja pumps. On surveying my face in the mirror, thankfully I found that the ice had worked – my lip definitely wasn’t getting any bigger, though it had started to turn purple. I rooted around in my make-up bag and found a deep-red Clarins lipstick which would help to blend it in. My skin felt tender as I applied it, but I nodded approvingly at my reflection. It was passable for a public outing.
I heard my phone buzz twice, the lip incident had at least taken my mind off Rob for two hours. I looked at the screen, hoping he might have messaged with some kind of explanation, but there was a WhatsApp from Vicky.
What makes you think he’s having an affair?
Just heading out to Harrods with Mandy.
Chat later x
La-di-dar! I want your life.
You really don’t. I’ve got a fat lip.
I sent her a quick selfie.
OMG! Have you had them done??
No! Accident with a medicine ball.
Sounds very Bridget Jones.
I feel very BJ.
Can’t you orchestrate a trip to LA? I miss my best friend.
I’m on it. Got to dash – I’m doing Cryo.
I’m crying too! (laughing until crying emoji) Love ya xxx
After changing into swimming costumes, accessorised with a thermal headband to cover our ears, thick gloves, and some very unattractive socks, Mandy and I were ready to enter the Harrods cryo chamber. I hadn’t anticipated Blair’s phone would be trained on the two of us to record this moment and send to Jimi for Mandy’s YouTube content, but there was nowhere to run. Mandy took my hand, turned to the phone, and screamed, ‘It’s time to freeze y’all! Let’s do this!’
I tried to smile but my lip still ached when I did and I’m sure I looked more like a startled koi carp than a stylist about to enjoy a luxury wellbeing treatment. Mandy was in a really good mood having been snapped by two paparazzi photographers on the way in. As we weaved our way through the beauty counters, she instructed Blair to call theVoguenews desk and make them aware she was wearing limited edition Bottega Veneta boots.
We moved into a holding chamber first, which was cold enough, and then the door to the subzero room opened. It was like being instantly transported to the North Pole as the cold began to tingle and prickle my skin. When I breathed in, the air flowing into my lungs felt cool, but it was exhilarating and brought a clarity with it.This might actually be okay.
We could see the cryo therapist, Jody, through the glass panel across one side of the room. Then we heard her voice boom into the chamber, like the voice of God.
‘Ground control to Major Tom!’ she trilled. ‘I’ll be with you all the way, ladies. Mandy, I know you know what to expect, but Amber, it might feel a little strange at first as the low temperature stimulates nerve endings in your skin. Give me a thumbs-up if you know what I mean!’
With some uncertainty, feeling ridiculous, I raised both of my thumbs. Then I followed Mandy’s lead, moving my body around through a mix of jogging on the spot, dancing, and waving our hands in the air to ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’, which was being pumped out of the speakers loudly to try to distract us from the biting minus-ten degrees temperature.
‘That’s it, ladies – have a good dance, move your body, twist and shout – whatever it takes to pass the time!’ Jody shrieked, seeming morbidly excited about watching usfreeze to death. I felt like a deranged legs, bums, and tums teacher as I started to grapevine from side to side.
‘She can’t hear anything we say in here,’ Mandy commented, now twisting on the spot, her hands moving in the opposite direction to her hips in short, sharp moves. She didn’t seem to be experiencing the same numbness that was enveloping my body, as my blood tried desperately to protect its core temperature. I began rubbing my upper arms and the tops of my thighs in a pointless attempt to warm them up a bit. My flesh felt like bits of rubber.
Mandy took this moment to get something off her chest:
‘Do you have a list, Amber?’ she asked.
‘A list?’ I repeated. It was hard to focus on anything but my breath at this moment. Freddie Mercury sang, ‘We’re having such a good time, we’re having a ball!’ but I could feel frost developing on my eyelashes.
‘You know – a life list. Of things you want to achieve,’ Mandy elaborated.
‘A list? I don’t think so,’ I replied. ‘But getting out of here would be top of it if I did. Do you?’
‘Oh yes,’ she replied, moving her arms and legs up and down in turn, like she was climbing an imaginary ladder. ‘Why do you think I’m in here?’
‘You’re a sadist?’ I shouted. It was becoming hard to speak as my face felt partially frozen.
