Page 7 of Two For the Show
“One of them.”
After layingit all out there for Sylvia, I’m emotionally wrung out. I told her about the abuse I suffered at the hands of Greg, Rich, and Tripp, until I got concerned they may actually kill me, which led to me packing up as much as I could and running away to join the circus. Then, about how I met the guys, got sick, went off my suppressants accidentally, and discovered the guys were my scent matches. I even told her the embarrassing story about how I ended up accidentally bonded to Matteo. About the clowns and the role they played in my eventual departure from the circus. While listening intently, with no judgment on her face at all, she droveme to the motel to turn in my key and pick up my meager belongings.
Now I’m settled in a small room with a twin bed, a closet, and a bedside table, and for the first time in a month, I feel alright. I’m both surprised and not that I miss the Cirque de Mordu crew something fierce, but I’ve built my little nest with the things they picked out for me, and, though they’re heavily faded, I can still smell their scents on the things they gave me after my nest was destroyed if I focus hard enough.
I wonder how Quinton is. Has my departure sent his Rot back into dangerous territories? Is he too high to function, trying to chase the pain away that my leaving caused?
Does Dario still have his beaming smile? Or has he let that mask drop and shown the others how much he hurts and longs for approval?
Is Jude brooding over my departure, or has he let anger take over? Is he glad I’m gone, or does he feel like there is now a piece of the troupe missing?
Will my Beta ever forgive me for leaving him like this? Or will he always be bitter that I ran with no explanation, leaving only an echo of my emotions behind? That I was able to bond with him so intimately and go without a look back?
I’m not worried about Dexter. Not after the way he ran away from me after I took his virginity and didn’t speak to me again. Before we were together, I felt like we were making tentative progress. But nope. He’s probably smug as hell, knowing he was right not to trust me all along.
Of all of them, I think I mourn what could have been with Dexter the most, because I think I need to have someone as torn up by trauma as I am. I know Quinton is sick and needs my pheromones, and Dario went through the same traumatic event Dexter did, but something aboutthe way Dexter processes it and I work through my issues feels the same. Like we could grow together, and both come out better for it.
Dario would keep me young, reminding me that I don’t have to be serious all the time.
Jude would keep me grounded and safe.
Matteo would nurture me, take care of me, whether I wanted him to or not.
And Quinton would challenge me. He’d constantly push me out of my comfort zone, and we’d have a blast while doing it.
Maybe in a different time, I could have had this pack. Maybe, in a different place, I wouldn’t have had to leave them.
But this isn’t a different time or place.
I open the gate to my meadow, the horses running free in the pasture, and allow myself to sink into it. I always had a rule that I would stay out unless I were in danger. Before now, that meant I only went in when my body was threatened.
But this time, it’s not my body at risk.
It’s my fucking heart.
Chapter 3
Travis narrowshis eyes at Jude in challenge. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, bossman.”
Jude shrugs, leaning back on his desk with a level of false casualness that I only notice because we’ve done this song and dance before. “I’ve been told you had a problem with us having an Omega on the staff.”
“Yeah, of course I did. This is a fuckin’ Alpha circus.” He pointedly glares at me from where I sit behind Jude’s desk. Not everyone here was happy for a Beta to be part of an act. ‘The All-Alpha Circus’ used to be one of the circus’s selling points, and they had to rebrand when I became a permanent part of the show.
It doesn’t matter now, because my act with Quinton is a huge draw. Me being a Beta hasn’t hurt a thing.
When our showrunner first suggested I be the one present for these interrogations, I balked. Wouldn’t he prefer someone a bit more intimidating, like Dexter? Hell, even Quinton, despite how aloof he appears all the time, would be a more logical choice.
But Jude insists that my calming, Beta pheromones arewhat he wanted backing him up, so he didn’t lose his cool. It doesn’t hurt that I have an excellent nose for sniffing out lies.
“I’m wanting to make sure it won’t be a problem if I hire another Omega for the position,” Jude continues. “I don’t know why she left, but we can’t keep running through doctors like this.”
He scoffs. “I don’t know why you’d want to hire one. It’s not like an Omega could be a good doctor, anyway. Wouldn’t trust her to treat my hemorrhoids.”
My ears perk up. Didn’t this all start with someone trolling Alex via text about hemorrhoids? I can see by the minute flex of Jude’s hand that he’s picked up on that too, and I hope he plows forward with more finesse than a bull.
“Eh, they all go through the same training,” Jude says dismissively. I almost believe his nonchalance, it’s that good. Who knew our illustrious leader was an actor? “I’m not concerned about qualifications.”
“I’m not one to question your decision-making, you know that, but hiring the Omega was a bad choice. She did us a favor by leaving.” The smarmy Alpha reclines a bit in his chair, not realizing how unsafe he is in this room. I absently rub at the bite mark under my ear. I’ve had to hide it with a bandage since she left. Only Trevor knows about it, since he found her puking after it happened, and he knows to keep his mouth shut.
