Page 75 of Two For the Show
I’ve always been that way. My emotions are wild, and I struggle sometimes to keep them in check. I feel everything intensely, but I have always had to push it down so I don’t upset Dexter. So others don’t see that side of me.
I’m the funny twin. The comic relief. The easy one.
A life spent as the jester who pulls the attention away from Dexter when he’s struggling.
I want to be more.
Alex sees that. She knows I am more than that.
Does Jude?
Or does he see me like everyone else does?
“That’s not what I meant,” he says quietly. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, Dario. I’ve never had a relationship, and suddenly I’m bonded to an Omega and am now the Prime Alpha of a pack, all while trying to keep this circus running. It’s a lot. I don’t know if I have any more in me to give.”
My stomach twists.
This was a bad idea. I pushed too far. I went too far.
I try to climb off his lap, but he anchors me with his hands.
“It’s okay,” I insist. “I overstepped. You’re not ready. It’s not like we need to rush this.”
He flexes his fingers, pushing up the hem of my shirt to touch my skin directly. I shudder, the feeling like a brand. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, Dario. That I won’t be enough for you, and you’ll feel neglected. How am I supposed to split my attention between the circus, Alex, you, and the rest of the pack?”
“You ask for help!” I nearly shout. “You don’t have to do this alone. Alex has five of us to deal with; it’s not like spending time together takes anything away from her. You truly believe you’re not going to be there for her when she needs it because we explore a dynamic between us?”
He avoids eye contact with me. I exhale in frustration, my hair fluttering against my forehead. “Fine. We’ll talk to Alex about it. You can hear from her directly that she’s okay with us exploring this. But then I’m taking you on adate, Jude Oliver. Whatever it takes to show you that I’m serious about this. About us.”
“I’ll never understand you, Dario.” His hand moves to my stomach, resting under my navel. “How can you live through what you did and still see the best in people?”
“No idea. I just do.” Unable to stop myself, I stroke my hand down his face to his neck, across his collarbones. “I’m not asking you to fall in love with me, Jude. I’m asking you to be open to me.”
Silence stretches between us, weighing us down as I hold myself back from him. I wish I could press my body to his, tangle our tongues together, and force this issue.
But I can’t.
I have to let Jude come to me.
“Okay,” he finally says.
“Okay?” It’s hard to keep the hope out of my voice.
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll try to be open.”
Yeah, I don’t think I can wait for Jude to come to me anymore.
I wrap an arm around his neck and pull him toward me. He comes easily, fingertips digging into the flesh of my stomach. Our lips clash, each of us fighting for dominance as we explore each other. I can’t stop myself from circling my hips, grinding against his cock as it hardens beneath me.
I trail my lips across his jaw and down his neck, kissing the bonding mark he has from Alex. He grips me tighter, one hand teasing the waist of my pants and the other on my lower back. He shoves me forward and then pushes me back, grinding me on his cock and groaning as I flick my tongue across his bonding mark.
When he slips his fingers into my pants, barely touching the top of my briefs, I jerk my hips forward, silently begging him for more.
I want whatever he is willing to give me.
Jude doesn’t make me wait. He unbuttons my pants, and I raise myself on my knees so he can pull them down enough to expose me. When I sit down, I rest on his thighs. Rubbing my palm down the front of his zipper, I have to force myself to slow down.
I feel desperate for him.
