Page 117 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
‘And yesterday,’ I continued, ‘Ollie told me that you didn’t think that. And I never knew, Matthew.’
There was a silence.
‘Okay,’ said Matthew. ‘Well, thanks for sharing that.’
He sounded pissed off. This wasn’t going how I’d hoped.
I tried again. I’m trying to say that I had no idea. Otherwise—’
‘Otherwise what? You wouldn’t have got with Ollie?’
‘You’re not getting it,’ I said, my voice rising. ‘I thought you didn’t like me.’
‘I am getting it,’ he said. ‘And my point is, what difference would it have made? Your interests lay elsewhere.’
‘My interest lay entirely with you,’ I said. ‘I was coming over that night to tell you how I felt about you. That I really liked you.’
I could barely breathe, waiting. Days, weeks, years passed. Someone knocked at the front door. Then knocked again. Did they have no idea that a life-changing conversation was happening in here?
Finally, Matthew spoke. ‘But then you got with Ollie. As I said, your interests lay elsewhere.’
‘What?! I told you I only did that because I heard you say you didn’t want me!’
Matthew looked at me and then shook his head. ‘And you’d have been interested in someone like me beyond a summer fling? I don’t think so.’
‘What is that even supposed to mean? Someone like you?’
‘You’d always have ended up with an Ollie, Alice. Ollie, Monty, Guy – that’s your type. Someone who can afford to have fun and not take work seriously. Someone from the right family going the right places. Like you said.’
‘That’s unfair. And you’re deliberately choosing not to hear what I’m saying.’ I could feel my eyes stinging. This conversation was not going the way I’d imagined it would. I looked down at the ground and tried to compose myself. I could hear the front door opening and muffled voices in the hallway.
‘Well, what does it matter now?’ Matthew stood up. ‘It’sin the past. It took me a long time, but we’ve both moved on.’ He started walking away, but I grabbed his hand.
‘Matthew,’ I said, and my voice sounded weird. The White Rabbit fromAlice’s Adventures in WonderlandsayingOh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!kept repeating in my head,mocking me.Please don’t let me be too late.
We both looked down at our hands. I didn’t let go.
I cleared my throat. ‘But what if I haven’t moved on?’
The sitting room door handle turned and Matthew pulled his hand away just as Mum came in.
‘There you are!’ she said. ‘Hiding away from the rest of us. Your coffee’s getting cold. And Ebba’s arrived.’
‘Hey, darling,’ said Ebba, peeking round the doorway.
‘Hey,’ said Matthew, smiling at her.
‘Are you staying for lunch, Ebba?’ asked Mum.
‘Of course,’ said Ebba, ‘if you’re happy.’
‘Well, this is marvellous,’ said Mum. ‘Matthew’s never brought a girlfriend for Easter before.’
I waited for Matthew to say, ‘Ebba’s not my girlfriend.’
But he didn’t.
And then Ebba said, ‘Ah, that’s sweet,’ and walked over to Matthew (it only took two strides because of her modelly long legs) and used her modelly hands to pull his face towards hers, and then she kissed him. Full on the mouth. Lingeringly. She even slightly bit his bottom lip at the end.
