Page 15 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
Then Edwin piped up.
‘Grandma, why is Aunty Alice eating breakfast now? It’s nearly lunch.’
God. I thought Edwin was the better one.
‘Indeed,’ said Mum. ‘Aunty Alice could learn a thing or two from her sensible nephews.’
I’d had enough of the familial gaze. So glad Matthew Lloyd was here for this.
‘Fine, fine,’ I said. ‘I’ll move.’
I picked up my plate ready to stand up, but stupid Ernie had trapped me in with his desperation to look at my zoo-thighs. I couldn’t even move my arms enough to push the table back because of the tight top. I floundered for a second as everyone watched.
‘Aunty Alice can’t get out,’ said Ernie helpfully.
‘Yeah,’ said Matthew. ‘You look like you’re struggling there, Alice. Would you like me to go and fetch some Vaseline?’
Fucking Matthew Lloyd.
‘I’m absolutely fine, thank you, Matthew,’ I said stiffly, finally managing to shove the table back enough with my hip to edge out. ‘Hadn’t you better get back to your hotel? Hope you didn’t cheat to get it like you always do at Monopoly!’ I laughed at my own joke.
‘Don’t be silly, Alice,’ said Arrie. ‘Everyone knows you’re the one who cheats. Because you can’t cope with losing.’
‘That’s not true! It’s Matthew. He’s the cheat.’
‘It’s you, Alice,’ said Astrid.
‘It’s not! Is it, Dad?’
‘Well, darling,’ said Dad. ‘It did get a little heated last year, didn’t it? With Scrabble? And Matthew wasn’t even there.’
Matthew smiled.
‘Yes, Matthew,’ said Astrid. ‘You missed a blinder last year.’
‘And we missed you dreadfully, you naughty boy,’ said Mum, her focus back on Matthew now that Maud was comfortably and victoriously sitting in my lovely warm seat. ‘Where were you? Being terribly successful I suspect. Ken!’ She poked my father in the ribs. ‘Have you even congratulated Matthew, yet? The Lamb?’
‘Oh goodness, yes!’ Dad paused his washing-up to beam at Matthew. ‘Absolutely wonderful, Matthew. Fantastic.’
‘Fancy you buying your own hotel,’ said Mum. ‘You must have sunk everything into that. And I thought you had your own company working with all those big corporations – I didn’t even know you were moving into hospitality!’
‘I’m not,’ said Matthew. ‘I’m still doing the consultancy work.’
‘Why have you got a hotel then?’ asked Edwin.
Astute question from my nephew. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.
‘I thought it was a good opportunity. It’s sort of a sideline, a hobby.’
‘Daddy, can we have a hotel as a hobby?’ asked Edwin.
‘No,’ said Roger shortly.
‘What’s your hobby, Daddy?’ continued Edwin.
‘Building up the model train track,’ said Roger proudly. ‘I just got a new docklands section and—’
‘I’d rather have a hotel,’ said Edwin sulkily.
