Page 25 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
‘Since when?’ said Astrid.
‘Oh I don’t know.’ I really didn’t know.
‘So who’s your favourite artist?’ pushed Astrid.
I could see Matthew smirking. Cock.
‘How do I choose just one?’
‘So hard,’ agreed Matthew. ‘Maybe give us your top ten?’
Total cock. I had to think quickly. Then I remembered that ad from the tube about the exhibition at the Tate. ‘I guess if I had to pick one… ’ I said.
‘You don’t,’ said Matthew.
‘If I had to settle on just one,’ I continued, ‘it would be Yayoi Kusama. He’s super.’
‘She really is,’ said Matthew. ‘And what a stroke of luck. I was just about to show Astrid round. Why don’t you guys come too? Alice can spot the Kusama in my art collection – I’m sure she’ll recognise it instantly. You can take a selfie with it, Alice.’
‘No, thanks,’ I said. ‘I think I saw everything at the wedding. Great little venue, Matthew, but I’m not really into vanity projects.’
Just then the man with the floppy hair who served us coffee earlier came running out the hotel towards us.
‘Oh, hi Matthew!’ He put one hand to his hair to smooth it down, and blushed.
Typical Matthew. I bet he only hired people who fancied him deliberately.
‘Problem, Tom?’ said Matthew.
‘No, it’s just, the lady left this behind,’ he said, slightly out of breath. Then he turned to me, ‘You know, when you were videoing yourself in the library?’ and held out my journal.
My yellow pleatherGuide.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
How explicit do I have to be when I ask the Universe to help me out?
Matthew looked at me with glee in his eyes, before turning to Floppy Hair.
‘Oh no, Tom. You must be mistaken. Can’t have been Alice here. She hates the Lamb. And vanity projects.’
‘No, Matthew, honestly,’ said Floppy Hair, looking nervous. ‘It was this lady. We don’t have anyone else in pyjamas.’
Astrid laughed.
‘Thanks, Tom.’ Matthew reached out and took my journal from him. ‘Good job.’
Floppy Hair tried not to look too pleased at the compliment as he went back in.
‘I’ll take that, thanks,’ I said, holding out my hand.
‘Oh, so itisyours?’ said Matthew.
Shit.
Matthew angled himself slightly further away and scrutinised the front cover. ‘The Guide… why have I heard of that?’
‘Because it’s literally everywhere,’ said Astrid.
