Page 7 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
Now take a few moments to relive it and record itas it happened.
Date: Saturday 24 DecemberTime: 7.20pm
It’s a tableau of the library in a fine country house that would grace any am-dram flyer for an Agatha Christie play: we’re temporarily immobilised in situ, our faces illuminated by the amber sconces; the plush, worn comfort of the armchairs and rugs at odds with the garish scene unfolding. I’m by the fire, Monty’s gripping me with one arm, although he’s backed off slightly, and I know I’m still alive because I can feel the heat from the flames hazing and licking, the dampness of sweat on my lower back, and the pressure of Monty’s fingertips on my upper arm, but I feel like I’m watching it happen from a distance. Of all the people I’d least like to have overheardthat conversation, I’d say Matthew Lloyd is probably top of the list. I mean, obviously I wouldn’t want Monty’s mother to have heard but let’s face it – after this wedding it’s not like we’re going to spend much time together. Minty would have been awful – but mainly for Monty. Astrid hearing – well, that’s annoying but it’s happened and I’ll cope. She was cross with me before this and she’ll be even crosser now. But I’m used to that. My sisters don’t know how to have fun, that’s half the reason they’re permanently pissed off with me. Besides, she’ll get over this. She has to. She’s my sister.
But Matthew Lloyd…
There are so many people at this bloody wedding. Everybody from school is here. Everybody from Little Minchcombe. Practically everybody from the whole bloody county. Why, oh why, out of everyone here, did it have to be Matthew Lloyd?Hewasn’t even meant to be coming. I checked with Mum. Twice. And then I checked once with Astrid. Actually, come to think of it – heshouldn’tbe here! I feel my vertebrae click back together in indignation and I break the silence.
‘What thefuckare you doing here?’ I demand.
Matthew doesn’t blink, although Astrid shakes her head in despair, and Monty sort of whinnies slightly, like a horse, and applies more pressure to my arm. God. The Matthew Lloyd effect already. Everyone falling over themselves to ingratiate. Well, it doesn’t work on me. Yes, he won all the prizes in the nature lottery and is objectively, provokingly good-looking (and he knows it) but he’s scruffy and cocky and for people like me, whoaren’tshallow, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Which, in his case, is an arrogant know-it-all who acts like he’s your friend only to stab you in the back.
‘Seriously. Were you even invited? I’m surprised they let you in here looking like that!’
‘Alice!’ reprimands Monty, pulling away from me like he’s been scalded and walking over to Matthew. ‘Of course he was invited. And thank you by the way, Matthew. Really. Thank you.’
Monty’s not attractive when he’s simpering. What’s he thanking Matthew for anyway? Eavesdropping?
‘You’d better get back to your wife, Monty,’ says Matthew.
His voice has got gravelly. I bet he puts it on.
‘Yes, yes, of course,’ mutters Monty, making to go through the doorway. But of course he can’t. Because Matthew Lloyd deliberately doesn’t move. He just stands there, in his silly trainers, which I imagine are a total no-no nowadays in this place, taking up the space. So Monty has to wait.
‘For goodness sake,’ I say at last, patience deserting me. ‘Matthew, just let Monty out, would you. And Julian too, whilst you’re at it.’
Matthew turns slightly, so that Monty can technically access the door handle if he makes himself small, but Monty falters and looks back towards me. ‘Please just tell me, if I weren’t with Minty, would there have been any chance of you reconsidering us?’
‘Oh come on, Monty!’ Astrid says. ‘Absolutely ridiculous.’
I give Astrid a sharp look. That stung. Especially in front of Matthew. ‘Why do you have to be so mean? It’s not ridiculous that someone might want me, you know.’
‘Hejustgot married!’ says Astrid.
She has a point.
‘Alice?’ says Monty hopefully, breaking the silence.
I can hear the faint whistling of heightened emotion through his nostril hairs.
I shake my head. ‘Sorry, Monts.’ I feel pretty horrible watching his shoulders slump. ‘You know we don’t really work… ’
‘Well, Alice,’ says Joyless Julian, ‘you made me very happy during the dinner earlier when we had a very pleasant exchange about the beef, but after this little show, I’m certainly going to rethink the email I was planning to send you asking if we could rekindle.’
‘Er, okay,’ I say.
‘Look, Monty,’ says Julian, sounding uncharacteristically firm. ‘You just need to stay away from Alice. She toys with one’s feelings. Frankly, and I’m sorry to be blunt, Alice, but she’s flighty. You’re better off with Minty. You really are.’
He takes Monty’s arm and steers him out of the library.
‘Yes,’ says Astrid. ‘So much better off.’ She flips me the finger as she follows them out the room, the oak and glass door shutting the chatter and laughter and music of the wedding party softly behind them.
And then it’s just me and Matthew and the sound of the flames crackling and hissing.
So, Astrid’s slated me and Joyless Julian has spoken his mind. Matthew’s certainly not going to hold back. I brace myself for what he’s going to say about me this time.
But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even look at me.
