Page 96 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
‘I’d have potentially compromised you,’ he said. ‘It’s better for you that I minimise contact with you until it’s done. You deserve the same protection as the others.’
‘But all that inside information I’ve given you.’ My voice broke slightly.
‘It’s largely irrelevant, Alice,’ he said patronisingly. ‘Most employee information is anonymised; I take all the steps I can to ensure I reach fair and independent conclusions. Anything where there’s a conflict of interest, I’ll recuse myself.’
‘You’re putting my career at risk, for yours.’
‘Oh come on, Alice.’ Matthew was losing patience. ‘The only person putting your “career” at risk is you.’
I could hear the air quotes, condescending prick. ‘How am I putting it at risk?’
‘Having sex with your married boss.’
‘It’s none of your business who I sleep with,’ I reminded him sharply. ‘And for your information, I like him.’
‘Actually, itismy business. And, foryourinformation that kind of exploitative relationship shouldn’t be taking place at Carsons.’
‘So you’re firing me for hooking up with Guy?That’sexploitative!’
‘Again, I’m not firing anyone,’ he said calmly. ‘I’m pointing out the implications of sexual relationships in the workplace.’
‘My relationship is out of work. And it is not exploitative. I’m the one that fancies him.’
‘And if the relationship ends… ?’
I thought about Charlotte, in Glasgow, but I’m not her.‘It’s hardly ending – we’ve come away for the night together. The only problem I can see is you.’
‘Alice, he’s talking to his wiferight now.’
‘He has to because she’s a nightmare.’
I could see Matthew’s jaw clenching. ‘Fine,’ he snapped. ‘Have it your own way. He’s here because he’s committed to you. Not because it’s an easy lay, or because he’s using you for your connection to someone who could influence whether he keeps his job. And definitely not because if it all goes wrong, at your level, you’re straightforward to replace in the workplace.’
I’ve disliked Matthew Lloyd for a long time, but I don’t think I really, truly hated him until that moment.
I could feel my eyes smarting.
Matthew bit his lip and then exhaled. ‘Alice,’ he said. ‘Don’t get upset. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just think you could do so much better.’
Somehow his pity was even worse than his stupid smile; I could feel my fists curling.
‘Don’t think about trying to kick me,’ he warned. ‘You’ll miss and hurt yourself – the walls are stone.’
‘Where do you get off on trying to ruin my life?’
‘I’m trying to help you.’
‘I don’t need your help. And I don’t want it. I know exactly what I’m doing.’
‘Sure,’ said Matthew. ‘I suppose if you lose your job, you can always manifest a new one. Or move back in with your parents. Or just keep on living with Astrid and Aziz and ruining their relationship.’
That did it. I lashed out. I may have never succeeded inkicking him, but I had a good idea of how to wound him. ‘So this is what it’s all about? You’re fuckingjealous?’
‘Jealous?’ Matthew stalled.
‘I’ve got the family you want. And even if they bitch about me, I don’t have to prove myself. If I fall, they’ll catch me. Whereas you? Well, you may have the hotel and the company, but you’ll spend the rest of your life continuing to try and prove yourself. And if you fall, well… ’
There was a silence. Matthew’s face was motionless. He didn’t speak.
