Page 98 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
Practise yoga and meditation
Date: Tuesday 21 FebruaryTime: 11.45am
My thoughts and reflections:
Again,The Guidehas come through for me. At least this seems like a simple fix. I’ve cancelled all my evening plans for the rest of this week and told Drunk Stephen I won’t be going for lunches with him because I have to rebalance. He assumed it’s because I’m tired from a sex marathon with Guy Carmichael. Well, it’s less of an assumption and more that I pretty much told him that on the train yesterday, but it was an excuse for not talking to him much. I was still feeling angry with Matthew and I couldn’t share it with Drunk Stephen without telling him why and I doubted I’d get much sympathy from him when he realised I’d effectively compromised his job. Guy texted last night to say sorry he’d had to rush off without breakfast and that he had a crazy week, but that works to my advantage in terms of ‘enjoying solitude’.
Now I’ve looked up energy vampires, it explains a lot about why the manifesting hasn’t gone smoothly. Must stay out of the way of Astrid (critical), the twins (innocent), Yaz (talker), Lydia (dominating), Cara (victim), Drunk Stephen (dramatiser), all the design team (manipulators) and obviously won’t have anything further to do with Matthew Lloyd (narcissist). It’s actually extremely alarming how prevalent energy vampiresare – they’re literally everywhere. I’m hard pushed to think of an interaction where someone hasn’t been stealing my energy. Mum’s been robbing it since birth.
I’ve already said no several times this morning –Alice, can we have that cover brief? No. Alice, would you be happy to take us through how the shoot went? No. Is it okay if I sit here? No.And whilst people have looked a bit surprised, I’ve had a great time. I probably need to learn to say no a lot more. Haven’t tried it on Astrid yet though.
I haven’t even had any meat today and it’s already nearly lunchtime, so easy win. I’ve booked myself a meeting room this afternoon and will put down the blinds and have a sleep, and possibly start a TikTok yoga challenge. Hopefully in a few days I’ll be vibrating with positivity all over the shop!
In one word:
Focused
Date: Saturday 25 FebruaryTime: 11.40pm
My thoughts and reflections:
Just made the mistake of filling Astrid in about last weekend and ending up in the middle of another marital cold-war. Well, I didn’t tell her the Matthew bits but as I’d already told her I was going with Guy, it was too late to lie about that. I should have said no to her, or at leastlet’s talk when you’re in a better moodbut Astrid isn’t an easy person to put off, especially as she’d decided I was deliberately avoiding her. ‘I’ve barely seen you all week, Alice. Normally you’re always on the scavenge for something.’ (Plus she’d opened a bottle of white wine and still hadn’t poured me a glass, so it was blackmail, effectively.)
Astrid didn’t mince her words about Guy. ‘Alice, he’s the type of man who tells you he’s treating you with respect by watching porn in front of you and not hiding the fact he’s sleeping with other women. Plus he’s nearly twenty years older than you and he’s your boss. This is one of your most stupid moves yet. And that’s in a long history of dating lackwits. How do you think this is going to turn out?’
It was uncomfortably similar to the conversation I’d had with Matthew (don’t argue with lawyers) although at least I was getting snacks during this one.
Me: Plenty of successful relationships begin in the workplace.
Astrid: You’re planning on this being a long-term thing?
Me:Yes (more confident than I felt, especially given he’s left me on read since yesterday).
Astrid: So the fact he’s married doesn’t present an issue?
Me: I keep telling you they’re getting divorced.
Astrid: (chopping carrots with the kind of precision that bodes well for her career change) If you’re genuinely into it, how come you didn’t want Mum and Dad or Arrie to know?
Me: I’m totally into it.
Astrid: He’s old and he’s got hairy knuckles. He’s probably got hairy shoulders. And I bet he’s made it clear he appreciates a full Hollywood.
Me: (impressively not rising to bait about pubes but intelligently using her own lawyerish approach against her. Hopefully correctly) That’s rather ad hominem, Astrid. Surely we don’t need to resort to shaming others’ appearances?
Astrid: (pausing her chopping and blinking rapidly, probably feeling a little in awe of my judicious use of Latin) You’re right. Sorry. But I don’t see how you’re into him.
Me: (deciding to end this conversation by pushing her own frigid buttons)Well, he’s a highly proficient lover. In fact he does this thing where—
Astrid: Fine. You’re into the sex. Spare me. Apart from that, what have you even got in common?
Me: Loads. He’s fascinating. He knows lots about wine.
Astrid:(over-confidence resumed despite my Latin)Oh my god, Alice. He’s one of those. You have to listen to him and I bet he doesn’t know anything about you.
Me:He does! He knows what I like in bed and… We’ve got loads in common.
Astrid:Yes. An interest in him.
