Maybe it was the hugs. Maybe it was getting lost on the subway. But at the mention of my brother, of all our family, thesudden wave of homesickness was so strong that I almost started crying all over again.
The Zolas were imperfect, overbearing, and without much to share. But we’d also grown up in a house full of love. For the first time, I really missed bickering at the Sunday Masses at Our Redeemer and the loud and long family dinners at Nonna’s. I missed being pestered by my sisters and scolded by my brother. Now, almost everyone had moved on from Belmont. Those family gatherings were a thing of the past.
And I felt more unmoored than ever.
“I know you just got in from the big bad city,” Frankie said as an unfamiliar woman entered the kitchen carrying a basket of laundry. “But do you want to go for a walk? Clara here can take over.”
Clara, who appeared to be the nanny/housekeeper, nodded a head full of curly gray hair and set the laundry on the couch in the adjoining living room. “We’ll be just fine, won’t we, my girls? Sofia’s promised to help me learn the alphabet.”
Frankie offered me a smile. “I’ll hold your hand if you need me.”
“Mama does that for me too,” Sofia added. “It works when you’re scared, I promise.”
“For what it’s worth,you do look fantastic,” Frankie said twenty minutes later, after we had just crossed a busy intersection to enter Hyde Park.
It was then that I realized I hadn’t needed to take the train at all. The hotel I’d escaped just hours earlier was on the other side of the park. If I’d taken more time to look at a map than freak out, I could have literally walked to Frankie’s in twenty minutes.
“Joni mentioned you got a makeover in Paris,” Frankie continued. “But holy smoke show, Batman. You look incredible.”
“It’s just the contacts.” I brushed away the compliment. “And a haircut.”
“No, it’s more than that.”
I looked down at my practical black pants, the cropped shirt that brushed my navel, and my red Adidas court shoes that were the same color as my lips. It wasn’t as nice as the walking boots and light jacket Frankie now wore, but I looked cute enough, even if it was the same basic uniform I wore most days now.
The thing was, I was still as much a creature of habit as I’d ever been. I had just traded one uniform for another.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, feeling a little brittle.
I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get used to the reaction people had when they saw the “new” me. At first, it had been fun, seeing their reactions. But now, part of me just wished they’d say nothing and act like I’d been this way the whole time.
Part of me certainly felt like I had.
Lucas never says anything, a little voice reminded me.
That’s because Lucas barely says anything at all, I snapped back at it.
I had to admit, Hyde Park was worth the hype. Acres of green were dotted with trees just beginning to turn color, all ordered around bridges and statues that bespoke England’s history. I felt like I was on a promenade from some period TV show, not on a casual walk with my sister.
At the very least, the effect loosened my shoulders and took the edge out of my voice.
“How are you adjusting here?” I asked, not quite ready to dive into the drama I knew Frankie was waiting for. “To all this?”
I gestured toward the expensive neighborhood beyond the park’s boundaries, the kind of wealth that seemed as natural asbreathing to the people who possessed it. The kind she and our brother both had now. Joni was well on her way.
Frankie watched a group of children feeding ducks at the edge of a manmade lake. “Some days it still feels surreal. Like I’m playing house or stuck in one of my Austen books.” She smiled ruefully. “I keep expecting someone to realize I don’t belong here and ask me to leave.”
“But you do belong here. You’re married to a duke.”
“Yet another fact that still feels make-believe.” She chuckled. “The thing is, Xavi feels the same, and he found out he was a legitimate heir years ago. Sometimes I know he wants to ignore it all, but he can’t. We have to find our way through things, you know? We can’t run away from them.”
We started walking around the lake, which I discovered was called The Serpentine for its curving, snake-like shape.
“And Sofia? How’s she handling the transition to merry old England?”
“Better than I expected, honestly. She loves her new school.” Frankie’s expression grew more serious. “She’s made friends quickly, which was my biggest worry. And she seems to have a built-in bullshit meter. None of the kids whose parents are trying to get close to Xavier because of his title seem to be on her radar.”
“And the adjustment to having a little sister?”