Page 4 of Worthy Now
For the next hour, our little game of cat and mouse continues. I actively force myself to pay attention to Megan’s animated chatter and do my best to enjoy the live music the various performers provide. Still, I can’t stop myself from seeking him out time andtime again. Every so often, I catch him staring back at me, a tight, almost bewildered expression on his handsome features. Like he doesn’t want to even acknowledge my presence but can’t stop his eyes from landing on me. And judging by his creased forehead, his lack of control really seems to piss him off. When the latest act finishes up his acoustic cover of Blackstreet’s ‘No Diggity’ and no one else comes forward, Jake’s friends begin shoving him toward the stage. I can’t make out what’s being said from a distance, but it’s obvious the last thing he wants to do is indulge them.
“It seems we ran out of artists, folks, so unless someone is willing to volunteer, we’ll have to put on a boring playlist for you to enjoy,” the host’s announcement booms over the sound system, which is met by a symphony of loud boos.
“Come on, Jake. Just one song,” a middle-aged lady at a neighboring table shouts, cupping her hands to be heard over the deafening crowd. Several other people chime in, and Jake shakes his head, striking a casual pose against the bar and lifting his beer to indicate he’s just fine where he is.
“Come on. Don’t leave us hanging. No one wants to listen to the charts when there’s actual talent in the house.” The host all but begs. One of the guys gives Jake a hard push, and the latter glares at his buddy, before he slams his half-empty bottle on the counter with a little more force than necessary and grudgingly makes hisway across the room. The entire bar erupts with wild cheers as he takes a seat on the spot-lit stool and accepts the beat-up acoustic guitar he’s handed. He takes the time to fine-tune the instrument, strumming it a few times to test the sound before nodding in satisfaction and facing the crowd.
“How are y’all doing tonight?” he asks, earning himself another round of applause and several wolf whistles. “I wasn’t planning on getting up here this evening, but I know these assholes won’t stop pestering me until they get what they want, so let’s just get this over with, shall we?”
A few amused chuckles sound through the room at his obvious lack of enthusiasm.
“This song goes out to someone who was once my whole world,” he announces, and I almost choke on my drink at the mention of what I can only assume is me. “A very special someone I thought would be my wife by now, but sometimes fate takes you down a different road. And sometimes you realize you never even knew that person to begin with, and that fate ended up doing you a favor. Anyway, this is a song by one of my all-time favorite bands. It’s called ‘Snuff.’ I hope y’all enjoy it.”
The title doesn’t ring a bell, and I don't recognize the song when he begins strumming the opening chords. But seeing as he’s clearly dedicated it to me to send some kind of message, I pay closeattention to the lyrics. The melody is hauntingly beautiful, and Jake produces it with such practiced ease it’s obvious he’s played it a time or two. His deep, gravelly voice instantly gives me chills when he starts on the first verse.
By the beginning of the second, however, I’m painfully aware that he hasn’t chosen this particular song to profess his undying love. I have to give him credit. The lyrics may as well have been written specifically for this purpose, for every cruelly delivered word twists the knife in my chest just a little more. He sings of betrayal and cowardice. Of heartbreak and deep hurt, and I have to fight back unwanted tears as I force myself to not look away. He belts out the last line with such raw feeling that I have a hard time keeping my own emotions in check. Megan looks on teary-eyed and uncomfortable as she sends me a pitying look just before the entire bar breaks out in a round of deafening applause.
Jake gives a mumbled, “Thank you very much,” and calmly strides back to the bar like he hasn’t just gutted me in front of a room full of strangers before wiping the soles of his shoes on my intestines. He accepts the shot of amber liquid someone holds out to him and drains it in a single swallow, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth like he wants to erase the bitter taste his performance left behind.
“Well, that was intense,” Megan needlessly points out, and I give her a look that says, you think?before I glare at the man who’s equally as frustrating as he is desirable. It takes him less than two seconds to find my eyes. The pull between us is still as strong as ever, and that simple knowledge is all the incentive I need.
“If he thinks all it takes to get me off his back is some backhanded serenading, then he’s got another thing coming,” I grit out, lifting my chin with a newfound determination. A predatory smile spreads across my lips.
“Uh oh,” Megan mutters, sucking on her margarita like it’s the only thing keeping her sane. I meant it when I said I didn’t come home for Jake. Rekindling an old romance was the last thing on my mind when I got that life-shattering call. I booked that plane ticket with zero intention to win him back. I returned to Jenkins Creek for one reason and one reason only. To be there for the person who’s been there for me my whole life. But I promised I wouldn’t lie to myself anymore, so here is the God’s honest truth. When I showed up at his house shortly after my return and realized he was in the company of another woman, it felt like a hot poker to the gut, and I don’t think I ever quite recovered from the scalding stab wound.
Over the days that followed, I told myself time and time again that this awful feeling would fade. That I have no claim on himanymore and that he deserves all the happiness in the world. I didn’t expect him to pine over me after all this time, nor did I think he’d been abstinent these past seven years. I don’t blame him for moving on, and it’s not his fault I never managed to do the same. I told myself to let it go, despised myself for even entertaining the idea of pursuing him since I know all too well just how much it sucks when another woman sets her eyes on the man you love. The thing is, deep down, I never quite stopped thinking of Jake as mine, and I don’t think I ever will. In a way, Alicia’s the one who moved in onmyterritory. Or so I tell myself so I can sleep at night. Finishing my drink and signaling the passing server for another round, I decide to give it one serious shot. If he shuts me down and can look me in the eye and tell me he’s madly in love with her, then I’ll have to accept his choice. If he’s truly moved on and happy in his new relationship, I won’t meddle. But if there’s even the slightest chance he still harbors feelings for me. That he’s thought about me every day since we went our separate ways. That he still longs for me even half as much as I long for him, then I have to try. Am I still angry with him? Hell, yes. I’m so damn furious I want to scratch his freakishly gorgeous eyes out of his head. And until I get the apology I’m owed, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully let go of it.
We have a lot to talk about before we can even consider the possibility of giving us another shot. But now that the veil has been lifted, I can no longer deny that there’s no one else I want. There’s no one else who’s ever affected me quite the way Jake Nelson does. Trust me, I’ve tried. God, did I try. I’ve suffered through more tedious dates than I can count. Pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and really put myself out there for a time, but no one could live up to the memory of him. None of them made my heart race with a single look. I don’t know how I’ll convince him to put his anger aside long enough to truly listen but judging by the song he chose, another sneak attack would most likely be my best option. If I want him to hear me out, I’ll have to catch him off guard. My mom tells me I’m like a dog with a bone when it comes to the people I care about, and dammit, I still care about Jake more than I want to admit. Time to rediscover that backbone I was once so famous for and reclaim my life.
Three
Tessa
“You have got to be kidding me,” Jake mutters the second he swings the door wide and notices me standing on his porch. It’s taken me a couple of days to work up the courage to make my move. I know it’s risky, showing up unannounced—again. But his standoffish behavior toward me these past few weeks has left me with little to no choice. Blowing out an exasperated breath, he flicks his gaze to the heavens before hitting me with a dark glower. “You don’t take a hint, do you?”
Holding up my hands, I give him my most brilliant smile.
“Don’t jump down my throat. I come in peace,” I say and watch as suspicion crawls across his face. He doesn’t trust my intentions, and he’s right not to. I came here to corrupt the man, after all. “Just give me ten minutes of your time,” I plead, tamping downmy excitement when his iron will seems to waver. “I won’t stop coming for you until you talk to me.”
He arches a brow. “You know, I’m not sure how the law works over in Cali, but here in Texas, we call this harassment. Don’t force me to take out a restraining order.”
I snort, lips twitching with amusement. “Is Payton still acting Sheriff? Because I’m pretty sure he’d laugh in your face and tell you to grow a pair if you came to him with that ridiculous request.”
That finally seems to cut through the tension, earning me the faintest hint of a smile. Jake runs his fingers through his thick, tousled curls and sends a heavy exhale through his nose before reluctantly stepping out of the house and pulling the door shut behind him. It’s not an invitation into his home, but I’ll take it as a win. He flicks a hand at the porch swing and takes up shop by the railing, resting his powerful thighs against the wooden structure and folding his arms across his chest. It seems to be his go-to stance whenever he’s feeling vulnerable. I don’t waste time planting my butt down, afraid he’ll change his mind and tell me to take a hike if I let myself hesitate even for a second too long.
Rubbing my sweaty palms on my pants, I take a moment to gather my thoughts, and I must take too long, for when I glance at Jake once more, he’s looking at me in a way that tells me to get on with it already.
“Right. I’ll just cut to the chase, then. I know you’re busy,” I grumble. I’m not sure whether I’m growing irritated with him for being so difficult or because I find myself unable to stop staring. I can’t help but appreciate the sight of him despite my growing frustration. The golden glow of the early morning sun against his back illuminates his large frame, making him look almost otherworldly. Like a Greek god, a king regarding me with a regal expression while he decides whether or not I’m worthy of his forgiveness. Well, we’ll soon find out.
“I know you’re disappointed and angry with me, and you have every right to be. But I’m going to be here for a while, and I really feel like we need to get rid of all this resentment between us if we're going to co-exist in this town. Megan and Carter invited me to their BBQ this weekend, and I know you and Alicia will be there. I don’t know about you, but I’d hate for people to feel uncomfortable around this cloud of hostility surrounding you whenever we’re in the same vicinity.” The subtle clench of his jaw is the only reaction he’s willing to give me, and for some reason, his lack of emotion bothers me. So, I do something that’s never failed to coax a genuine reaction out of him. I poke the bear. I may not have spoken to him in years, but there was a time when I knew him better than myself andthatJake is still in there somewhere. It’s time for him to come out of hibernation and meet me on an evenplaying field. “Besides, I don’t think you’re being fair. You act like I’m the only one who’s made mistakes when we both know better. I hurt you, and I take full responsibility for that. It was wrong of me to deprive us of a chance to work through our issues, but I was just so mad at you—”
“Now, hold on a damn minute,” Jake interrupts, tilting his head to the side like he can’t quite figure out what I’m on about.
“You mentioned you were angry with me the last time you paid me one of your impromptu visits, and I’ll admit you had me curious. You see, what I can’t seem to figure out is what reason you could possibly have to be pissed at me. The only thing I can think of is that you’re still mad that my carelessness and overindulgence made it easy for Jessica to manipulate me, and if that’s the case, then okay. I get it. I fucked up, and I’ve apologized more than once. Christ, I was literally kneeling in the dirt at your feet, begging for your forgiveness. But the fact is, I didn’t sleep with anyone.” The heat creeping up his throat is as concerning as it is satisfying and I lift my chin, letting him know I’m no longer afraid to take whatever he’s about to dish out. His eyes flash with the challenge, and his lip curls into a cruel smile before he goes on. “But even if I did, I wouldn’t have been a willing participant. I was fucking drugged, Teresa. You, on the other hand, had full use of your senses when you took Shane to bed. And then you got the hell out ofdodge, so you didn’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions.” He scoffs, eyes glittering with anger. “You didn’t even give me time to wrap my head around it. To let it all sink in and come to terms with the fact that the girl I loved sought comfort in the arms of my enemy because I failed to provide that for you. You didn’t even give us a fighting chance. So, I guess I’m having a hard time understanding why you’d be upset.”
Even though every harshly delivered word chips away at the hardened exterior surrounding my heart, it’s not enough to fully disperse the lingering ache in my chest. I was hurt, too, dammit and it’s time for him to acknowledge that he’s not the only victim here.
“Alright, let me enlighten you,” I say, folding my arms across my chest to match his hostile body language. That my new position just so happens to push my boobs together in a favorable way, causing his gaze to land on my cleavage, doesn’t go unnoticed.Men. No matter how much they might despise the very sight of you, flash them a little skin and they simply can’t help themselves. “You might not have slept with Jessica that night, but you certainly didn’t keep it in your pants long, did you?”
