Page 51 of Mountain Freedom
I crossed my arms and leaned back against my truck, fuming.
“Aren’t you going to button your shirt?”
“Why? Is it bothering you? Turning you on, Miller?”
He sputtered. “You know I don’t go for that.”
“It’s a joke, you moron.” I rolled my eyes and fumed some more, waiting for Allison to finally come out.
It was allI could do not to rush over and grab Allison into my arms when she finally walked out of the house with Sanchez.
“Hey, Jackson,” Sanchez said. “What are you doing out here?”
“I called him,” Allison answered, locking eyes with me like I was the lifeline she had been looking for.
I cursed the fact that she had been alone when this had happened, that she had needed me but I hadn’t been here. It was confirmation of what I had known all along. Allison deserved someone with normal work hours and a stable life. Even if it damn well broke my heart to think about losing my place in her life.
“Are you okay?” I asked, moving to her side.
“Yeah.” It was clear from her face that she wasn’t.
“Well, we’re all wrapped up here,” Miller announced. “Make sure your doors are locked, Dr. Bell, and call us if anything else happens.”
She nodded, her mouth set in a firm line, as she wrapped her arms around herself like she needed the comfort.
And oh how I wanted to be the one comforting her.
We waited for Miller and Sanchez to pull out before going inside.
“How are you really?” I asked, following her through the door. I made sure it was locked behind us, even though there was barely a point. Whoever this was wasn’t likely to come in with me here, and if he wanted to, he’d already proven locks wouldn’t stop him. Still, the gesture made me feel better.
She shrugged, then sank into the couch, tears clouding her eyes. “I don’t know. When it was just once, and the person was gone, and you were here…that was different. This was terrifying.”
“I bet it was.” I sat down on the other end of the couch, giving her space to talk.
“I’m tired, Jackson,” she said, covering her face with her hands. When she let them fall to her lap, I saw exhaustion I’d never seen there before. “Tired of my patients hating me. Tired of putting up with Beverly. Tired of whoever this is making it to where I don’t even feel safe in my home.” She looked away, avoiding my eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe Mama’s right. Maybe I should just go back to Memphis.”
“Is that what you want?” I asked carefully.
“I don’t know what I want right now.” Her voice was broken. Like everything had piled up and piled up and it was finally too much.
I sat silent, not trusting myself to say anything. I knew I couldn’t be what she needed—what she deserved—but the thought of her moving away again? It killed me. It was the last thing I wanted.
“Jackson?”
“Yeah?”
“Areyouokay? Greg said you had a tough case today.”
My heart stopped in my chest. After everything that had happened, she was worried about me? It was a strange feeling. I was used to being the one checking on everyone else. “I don’t know,” I said, giving her the most honest answer I could. “It’s hard to explain.”
“That’s okay. You can tell me anyway.”
I turned toward her. “When you work this kind of job, you learn to compartmentalize, you know? But when it’s a kid being abused… Well, it gets hard for me to do that.”
“I imagine.” She reached over and squeezed my hand.
“All I can do is show up as the person I wish I would have had back then,” I said, swallowing over a painful lump in my throat. “Even if what I really want to do is tear the suspect to pieces.”
