Page 53 of Mountain Freedom
I nodded. “I’ll stay here again tonight.”
“You don’t have to.” It broke my heart because I knew how scared she was—and how much I had hurt her if she was willing to stay here alone despite her fear.
“I do. He might come back again. So either I’m staying here or you’re coming to my apartment, but I have to warn you. My place isn’t nearly as nice as yours.”
She smirked. “Yours doesn’t have someone breaking into it every night though.”
“That’s true. Would you rather come home with me?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course.”
“Yeah,” she said, glancing around the room. “Even with you here, I’m not sure I’m going to feel safe until they catch this guy. And I don’t want you getting hurt, either.”
“Then pack a bag. I’ll wait.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Allison
I went upstairsand began packing an overnight bag, somehow hurting and feeling numb at the same time. This was all becoming a nightmare.
Jackson had drawn a line in the sand. He meant what he had said before. Friends only. And I was having a really, really hard time accepting that.
Hard because he was wrong. Not just about himself—though he was definitely wrong there—but about us, too. He didn’t want to risk what we had, but he was risking it anyway by keeping our friendship platonic. If we never allowed ourselves to see what was between us, there would come a day when one of us fell for someone else. And the moment either of us began a relationship, the dynamic between us would change. It would have to. There was no way I could be in a relationship with another man and continue on the way I was with Jackson. It would be completely inappropriate. We would always be playing with fire.
There was an unknown expiration date on our friendship that would only be solved by promising each other forever. But that was a promise he had no intention of ever making.
Walkinginto Jackson’s apartment felt like walking into a refuge from the rest of the world. The whole place felt like him—friendly, welcoming, and oddly familiar. I immediately felt the weight of the day fall off my shoulders as I stepped through the door, knowing that tonight I would be safe.
Jackson locked up behind me, then stood there awkwardly. “I’ll just change the sheets on my bed. Then you can have it,” he said.
“Don’t be silly,” I said, shaking my head at him. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“That doesn’t feel right at all.”
“I don’t care,” I said, feeling too tired to argue. “I’m not sleeping in your bed, Jackson.”
Something in my tone must have indicated that I meant it, and I did. Sleeping in his bed, even without him there, felt like crossing a boundary that I couldn’t come back from. If we could only ever be friends, I needed to put up some new walls between us in order to protect my own heart. Not to mention the fact that sleeping alone in his bed would be a cruel reminder that he didn’t want me there with him.
“Alright,” he said, defeated. “I’ll grab you a pillow and some blankets.”
“Thanks.” I moved to the couch and sank into it, suddenly feeling even more tired than before.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea after all. I felt safe here. But I also felt the acute pain of a change in our relationship that neither of us had seen coming. Admitting our feelings haddestroyed the ease between us, and I wasn’t sure how to get it back.
I missed my best friend.
Jackson emerged minutes later, carrying a stack of blankets and a fresh pillow. “You sure you’ll be okay out here?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” He handed me the linens, then turned to leave, but he paused in the doorway. “I feel like I let you down. That’s the one thing I didn’t want to do. I’m sorry, Allison.”
My shoulders sagged with instant remorse. “You didn’t let me down, Jackson. It’s not your fault I developed feelings for you. We had a pact. I’m sorry I letyoudown.”
“Think we can get back to being friends soon?”
