Page 121 of Shadow Sabotage
“Friday.” He drained the last of his scotch and stared straight ahead. He looked miserable.
“That’s … fast.”Toofast. I wasn’t ready.
“I’ll be back and forth for a few weeks. I need to find a place to live there, then pack up and get things moved over. Plus, Ineed to be available to the DA.” He gave me a tentative look. “Maybe we could see each other when I’m here.”
“Maybe. But I know we’re both going to be busy over the next few weeks.” I toyed with my fortune cookie, afraid to crack it open and see what it said. “Rhett and Cheyenne’s wedding is this weekend, remember? Did I tell you that my brother Cole and his wife, Willa, are flying in for it? She’s pregnant and they were afraid she might not be able to fly, but the doctor approved it. They’ll be staying for a week.”
“No, you didn’t tell me.” He took a swig straight from the bottle, then passed it to me. “But I need to point out that you changed the subject.”
My pulse quickened. “Did I?”
“Yes.” Those sharp blue eyes honed in on me. “I wasn’t done talking about us.”
I threw up my hands in frustration. “There is nous.” My eyes filled with tears, but I refused to let them fall. “I’m crazy about you, Vance. I don’t—I don’t even want to think about you leaving. But your future is in New York, and mine isn’t. And I’m scared that, if we drag things out, it’s going to hurt even worse when you leave for good. Saying goodbye to you is already going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t think I can do it over and over and over again.”
His eyes darkened. He let out a sigh that was half growl. “What if I’m not okay with saying goodbye at all?”
“I don’t think you even know what you want,” I said, letting out a shaky laugh. “You keep contradicting yourself. You want to stay in Wyoming, but you want the job in New York. You want more, but—”But not enough to do anything about it.I stopped myself before finishing the sentence, blushing as I realized that my words could describe me as well as they described him.
“Must be contagious.” He smirked. “Tell me, Claire. What doyouwant?”
“I—” I stopped, realizing I didn’t have an answer.
At least not one I could give him.
“Tell me,” he demanded.
“I don’t know what I want.”Liar.
His eyes narrowed. “Are you talking about life or about us?”
“Life.” I knew exactly what I wanted from him. I just couldn’t have it.
His gaze heated. “So put life aside. Life is complicated. What do you want regardingus?”
I knew all the things I should say. But only one word made it past my lips. “More.”
A look of satisfaction settled onto his face. “Me too.”
“But you’re leaving tomorrow.”
“I am. That’s the reality of the situation. But life is short, Claire.” He leveled a look at me. “We both could have died on that rock face. And in that moment? You mattered more to me than the job.”
“I felt the same way.” I couldn’t deny it. It’s why I’d kissed him, even knowing I couldn’t ask him to stay if we made it out of there alive. With our survival uncertain, all that had mattered was the one thing we had—that one moment.
“I don’t know how we’ll work it out,” he said, shaking his head. “Maybe we’ll have to settle for eating Chinese food over video chat and taking turns flying in for weekends when we can. I’m not asking you to give up the life you love and come with me. I’m just asking for you to give this a chance, even if we have to figure it out as we go. I don’t want to lose you.”
A chance.It made me hopeful and terrified at the same time.
But I was Claire Hawkins. I’d never let fear stop me before. I’d risked my life countless times.
Maybe it was time to risk my heart.
I took his face into my hands and kissed him, pouring everything I felt into that moment. “I don’t want to lose you,either,” I whispered. “And if all we have is tonight, then I want to make it count.”
I wokeup the next morning in Vance’s arms. It was different this time. We were in an actual bed, for one thing. We weren’t numb with cold or filthy from hours of hiking.
And the way he’d touched me the night before hadn’t been a fantasy.
