Page 45 of Shadow Sabotage
“I’m sorry,” I said. I really couldn’t imagine. My parents annoyed me sometimes—or often, at least right now. They didn’t understand me, but I knew they loved me.
I wondered if Vance had ever experienced that.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said firmly. “My childhood was cold, but I’m aware of how privileged it was. I don’t have any right to complain. If I ever thought that, working the streets of NYC set me straight.”
“Money and happiness are two different things.”
“They are,” he agreed with a small smile that told me he was grateful I understood.
“How often did you get to see your dad?”
“Two weeks every summer.”
My jaw dropped. “Wow. That’s awful. Travis is in the process of getting divorced. Missy, his ex, only lets him have the girls two weekends a month and that’s still not enough for him. For any of us.”
“Two weeks was more than enough for Dad.” His voice was flat. “The job came first. I understood.”
He said it like he’d repeated it to his father a million times—like he’d almost convinced himself it was true. But there was a sadness in his eyes that told me he wished it hadn’t been that way.
“If he never cared to see you more than that, why did you move to NYC?” It was another nosy question, but I didn’t think he would mind. If anything, he seemed relieved to open up. I got the feeling he’d kept all of this bottled up for way too long.
Some of my siblings were guarded like that—Beth, Finn, and Jonathan. It wasn’t healthy. I believed that you had to let things out, lay your feelings out on the table.
Theyprobably wished I would do less of that.
Vance sighed, then gave me a funny grin. “You’re too easy to talk to.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “I think I understand now why you decided to become a deputy. It’s the only job where you can get away with questioning people like this.”
I grinned. “I told Cheyenne almost the same thing once. But you’re stalling.”
His smile dropped. “Truthfully? I always saw my dad as a hero. This incredible man who dedicated his life to serving other people.”
“Everyone except you,” I said quietly.
He gave me a perceptive look. “Yeah. Everyone except me. I think I thought that, if I moved to New York, went to school for criminal justice, and followed in his footsteps, he might finally be interested in me.”
I toyed with a paper napkin. “So you were trying to be worthy of him.”
He was silent for a long beat. “Yeah. I guess I was.”
This time, I was the one to sigh. “I understand that.”
“Is that part of why you became a deputy? Trying to prove your worth, too?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Not at first. But I’ve been trying to prove myself ever since.”
“Your department doesn’t seem very supportive.” Irritation flared on his face. I knew that it was for my sake and it warmed my heart.
“Sheriff McGrath has been great,” I corrected. “He can be overly protective sometimes, but otherwise, he’s good. He’s actually the one who encouraged me to apply for the job, and he’s been a mentor ever since. But…” I swallowed hard, embarrassed to admit something so personal.
“What is it?” His eyes were curious.
“My parents laughed at me when I told them I was applying.”
“Why?” He seemed genuinely dumbfounded. “I know your Mom’s a little—”
