Page 56 of Shadow Sabotage
“Notmytype, either,” I protested.
“And yet you have a crush on him.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward our bench so we could talk. It had been our favorite spot for almost twenty years, a location chosen because we could see both barn entrances and the office door,ensuring that none of my siblings could sneak up and overhear our secrets.
When we sat down, she turned to look at me with a happy grin on her face. “We could double-date.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Nothing can happen. I mean, he’s kind of my boss.”
“Is he though?” She cocked her head.
“I don’t know!” I buried my face in my hands again. Ididn’tknow and I was afraid to ask because I knew how stupid and inexperienced it made me look. It was probably something they’d covered in training that had gone in one ear and out the other. I could remember random details that interested me no problem. But something boring? Forget it.
She studied me. “Claire Hawkins, you’re legitimately getting hung up on this guy.”
I shook my head quickly, trying to deny it to myself as much as to her. “No. This is just me, right? This is what I do. Lose my head, get crazy crushes, make things bigger than they really are… It’s my fatal flaw.” I sighed dramatically again, holding a fist to my heart.
Her face broke into a smile. “I love you so much it’s ridiculous. And yes, you’re dramatic. Adorably so. But you’ve taken a pragmatic and practical approach to relationships as an adult. This is different than anything I’ve seen in the last several years.”
My shoulders sank. “That’s becausehe’sdifferent.”
He was, and it felt like a tragedy. I’d met someone I connected with on a different level than anyone I’d dated before, but our partnership was temporary. He’d be leaving Wildwood as soon as we wrapped up our case. The thought of it made me want to mope in bed with a tub of ice cream.
“How is he different?” She smiled patiently, encouraging me to talk.
“He understands me.” I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling, knowing I couldn’t share the depth of it with Cheyenne. I’d never ruin her happiness by telling her how much it hurt to be left behind or how his understanding my feelings had made them bearable.
“It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?” She leaned back, too, touching her head to mine.
“Yeah.” I swallowed hard. “Vance makes me feel like we’re a team. Like he has my back.”
“Any good partner should. That’s true for lifeandlaw enforcement.” I could hear her smile even without seeing it.
“Yeah.” I shook myself, sitting up straight again. “But it doesn’t matter. It’s just a crush. Hopefully now that I’ve told you, I’ll get over it and get back to work.”
“What if you don’t get over it?” she asked slowly.
“I have to, don’t I?”
She squeezed my hand. “What does your heart say?”
I shot her a look. “My heart doesn’t apply. This is work.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, what does your gut say?”
“I don’t know. I don’t trust it. I know how I am.”
“I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself.”
I waved her off. “I’ll probably flip back to disliking him by tomorrow. He’s a very dislikable man.”
“Dislikeable?” She shot me a skeptical look. “What do you mean?”
“Well, for one thing, he wearssix-hundred-dollar hiking boots.”
“A terrible quality in a man,” she agreed, fighting a smile.
“He can sit at a desk, combing through reports forhours.Doesn’t even get twitchy.”
“That sounds like a good thing,” she pointed out. “Having different strengths makes you a good team.”
