Page 183 of There's No Us Without You
I almost laugh. “What? She didn’t give you all the details when I left?”
What am I doing? This isn’t me.
Not only did I attack the woman I’m falling in love with, but I may have also just ruined my friendship and growing relationship with Will because of the dumb shit I pulled with Gabby.
“Don’t you fucking dare put any of this on her.” Will shoves a finger into my chest. “Like I said, I want to hear it from your mouth. I know when you’re lying, Emerson.”
Pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes, I take a deep breath. “She caught me a couple of days ago,” I say, before biting the inside of my cheek.
It’s all I can do to stop myself from the impending emotional breakdown I know is simmering just under the surface. What I wouldn’t give to have Will hold me in his arms right now and take all the shit from the last couple of weeks away.
Take everything but Eden.
He can’t take her from me because I won’t survive that. At least not in the state I’m in right now.
“It started with that tackle a few weeks back, isn’t that right?” The tone in his voice is a little softer.
I nod and rub the swollen joint. “My knee hasn’t been the same since. With finals, I thought I could just get through the next couple of weeks. I’m so close. Please, just let me get through that and I swear I’ll quit. Do you know what it’s like having to live up to everyone’s expectations? It’s fucking exhausting.”
Will’s eyes glass over, and he blinks rapidly, swallowing hard. For a moment, as we stare at each other, I’m positive he’s going to agree.
Instead, he shakes his head. “No fucking way.” Shoving the small bag into his pocket, he sits back. “Not after what I witnessed yesterday.”
He’s kidding, right? I know I fucked up, but can’t he see I need them to survive the next three weeks?
Then I’m done.
“Please, Will. You don’t understand. I need them. The pressure, it’s eating me alive, and I can feel it tearing at my insides.”
“Not a chance. You’ve done enough damage. Besides, I’ve already booked you in to see a doctor to get a cortisone injection. That should tide you over until after finals. Right now, though, we’re dealing with this drug problem you seem so hellbent on destroying everything for.”
“Wait.” I hold a hand up, sitting forward. “You booked me an appointment? Why?”
“Because believe it or not, I’ll do anything for you,” he says, those dark-blue eyes of his searching mine. “I just wish...” Voice cracking, he rubs his forehead and clears his throat. “I wish you trusted me enough to come to me before you went to my brother.”
My heart hurts, my limbs growing numb at seeing Will like this. I’ve been so stupid, so selfish. “I’m sorry.” I drop my head,unable to look at him any longer, and bury my face in my hands. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I may have irreversibly ruined everything, including Will’s feelings for me.
After a moment of silence, I lick my dry lips. “And Eden,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. “Is she okay?” My voice catches in my throat, my bottom lip trembling as the memory of what I did to her floods my brain.
Will sighs. “Not that you deserve to know, but yes. A little shaken, but she’s okay.”
“I need to fix it.” Nodding, I rub my hands up and down my thighs.
If I can fix things with Eden, then we can go back to how it was before I turned into a psychopath and tried to force myself onto her in the most horrific way possible. Even now, I can’t quite put my finger on what happened.
All I could think about was the fact I was going to let everyone down. My team. My parents. Will. Eden was just there, in the way of the storm brewing inside me. All I could do was hold on and hope I survived to live another day.
Will pats my thigh. “That’d be a start.”
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I shake my head. “I don’t know what came over me. Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Glancing over my shoulder, he nods.
When I whip my head back, Eden is standing at the bottom of the stairs, chewing on her bottom lip, her arms hugging her waist.
Big green eyes search mine as tears fall over her bottom lashes and down her flushed cheeks. “Are you okay?” she says, voice quiet, unsure.
