Page 68 of Tainted Love
Elias
I KNEW THIS was coming. It was only a matter of time before I’d have to open up to her about my past. I force myself to step away from Bea for a moment and find two empty buckets. Once turn them over, I motion for her to sit on one. She eyes me warily before she reluctantly does as I ask, and I take a seat across from her.
Unsure what to do with my hands, I rub them along the tops of my thighs, but keep my gaze on the ground as I speak. “Oli and I were put into foster care when we were fourteen. The family we were placed with had one biological daughter, Madeline, but they wanted more. So they took in six foster children, mostly teenagers.”
“What does this have to do with us?” Bea chokes out.
I lift my eyes to meet her glassy amber ones. “There was a girl. Her name was Jas. We were close, really close. We had to hide our relationship because the one rule our foster parents enforced was that there were no ‘shenanigans’, as they liked to call it, between any of their children. Not that it stopped Madeline. She was sleeping with our three foster brothers and didn’t like that I was holding out on her.”
Bea gasps, her hand flying to cover her mouth. “Did they know?”
Her innocence brings a sad smile to my lips. I shake my head. “Not at first. She was so good at hiding things. And she had to be careful so that her parents didn’t catch on.”
“I still don’t understand what this has to do with you and me.”
I sigh. There’s no getting out of this without looking like a real fucking arsehole. I’m risking everything by telling her this, and there’s a real chance she won’t want anything to do with me after I’m finished.
“The thing about Madeline is she was a spoiled, rich brat. She always got everything she wanted and didn’t take no for an answer. She’d find any excuse to rub up against me and touch me, even when I told her in no uncertain terms I wasn’t interested. One night, I woke up to her sucking my dick.”
Bea stares at me, unshed tears coating her lashes. “She sexually assaulted you,” she finally whispers.
I swallow down the guilt building inside me. It’s no worse than what I did to her when I moved in. Seeking revenge on Bea for what Madeline did was wrong, but she hasn’t made that connection yet. “Don’t feel bad for me, Duchess,” I grunt out. “What I did to you?—”
She shakes her head. “It wasn’t the same. You may have come on to me, but I …” Her voice trails off and her cheeks heat to a perfect shade of pink as she wraps her arms around her middle. “I wasn’t entirely against your advances.”
“You had a boyfriend, and I didn’t give a fuck. All I cared about was ruining you like she ruined … everything.”
A tear slides down her cheek and I feel it like a knife to the stomach.
“Hunter and I were over long before you came into my life,” Bea says softly. “I just didn’t know how to tell him. Inever should have slept with him when I came home, but I was so rattled by finding out about our parents and then finding out you were moving in. When he touched me, I just wanted to forget for a little while.” She closes her eyes and exhales before setting her intense amber gaze on mine. “When I looked over and saw you watching, it awoke something inside of me I didn’t know I could feel. That was the first orgasm I ever had from someone else, and it had nothing to do with him.”
I climb to my feet and run my hands through my hair. “You deserve better than me, Duchess. I’m beyond fucked up.” She still doesn’t know the whole fucked up story.
Bea stands and closes the distance between us, resting her delicate hands against my chest. I suck in a deep breath, forcing myself not to touch her. The moment I do, it’ll all be over.
“Look at me,” she says as one hand reaches up to cup my cheek.
“Bea—”
“Look at me.”
So I do.
“I don’t care how we started. If it wasn’t for you challenging me and pushing me outside my comfort zone, I wouldn’t have the courage to tell Dad I don’t want to study law. Like I said, you’ve awoken something inside of me, and I don’t want to lose it.”
“You deserve better,” I murmur again, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing her fingers.
“Maybe,” she whispers. “But I want you.”
I grip her by the nape and crush my lips to hers. This kiss is different. There’s an intimacy, and it feels like she’s peeling me open and devouring my very being. She sees me—all the fucked-up things I’ve been through and all the twisted things Idid to her in my quest for revenge against Madeline. She sees me for me, and she doesn’t hate who I’ve become.
Bea’s hands drop to my belt, and I groan as I stop her. “Not here.” I run my thumb over her swollen bottom lip, fixing her slightly smudged lipstick. “Promise me you won’t pull away from me again, Duchess. I can’t lose anyone else I care about.”
“What about our parents?” she whispers.
I rest my forehead against hers. “We’ll face them together.”
Slipping my hand into hers, I unlock the door and check the hallway before we leave the storage room. When we reach the function room, I let go and lean into her. “We’ll find your granddad and say goodbye. I need to be inside you.”
