Page 30 of Prove Me Wrong
“That’s not what I mean, twinkle fingers,” he bites back. “Mum asks about you every time they call me. She’s worried about you, because she has no idea what happened. Why are you so afraid to tell her what he did to you?”
My face scrunches as guilt pains my insides again. I know I should have told her about Ryan taking advantage of me, but then it’ll prove her right, and I’m not going to do that. She already thinks that I’m a failure, so why add more fuel to that fire?
“I’m just not ready yet, Sin.”
“Why? Do you honestly think Mum would blame you for what happened?”
I shrug and pull my knees up to my chin. “I don’t know, but I don’t want to talk about it with her. Look, I am going to therapy and getting the help I need. Telling Mum will just tighten her restraint on me, and I feel like I have only just gotten out of her hold with the distance betweenus. You know what it’s like, Sin. Mum and Dad are suffocating. I was constrained by Mum, and then Ryan used me and threatened me when I tried to leave. I just want to be away from it all.” My voice comes out hoarse, throat beginning to burn.
“I know they are controlling, believe me, I feel it on a daily basis. I’m not going to tell you what to do, and I think most things aren’t their business, but maybe this is something that she should know about. It’ll help her understand why you need the space and time for yourself. You haven’t spoken to her or Dad in weeks. They are worried that something is going on, and I’m the one having to update them on the small things.”
I exhale slowly as my eyes squeeze shut. My pulse jumps in my throat as I murmur, “I don’t want them to think that I’m not good enough. They already think that. I have put this wedge between Mum and I.” I hold in a tear that threatens to slip from my lashes. “The boy she told me to stay away from assaulted me, and I’m not ready to tell her, Sin. I just can’t right now,” I choke out the words.
I hear him sigh as my finger wipes under my nose. “They don’t think you’re not good enough, twinkle fingers,” my brother murmurs. “And as damaging as Ryan was, Mum would understand that it wasn’t your fault. None of this was your fault.”
I huff a hollow laugh. “Yes, they do. They have been disappointed in me since I changed my course at uni. Mum warned me about those friends I mixed with. She told me not to get involved with Ryan. How will it look if I tell her now that she was right and that everything I did was wrong?”
He's silent for a minute, and I throw my head back on my couch cushions. My stomach twists in an uncomfortable way as guilt eats at me slowly. I know I should have told Mum when it happened, but I couldn’tface her. I didn’t want her to know how weak I felt, and how I still feel useless and worn after all this time.
“You’re right. They have always been controlling over us. If you aren’t ready, then I don’t blame you. Tell her when you think the time is right.”
My tongue drags over my lips, and I nod once. “Thank you, Sin.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I hear him move through his apartment and slump down on his expensive couch.
“So, what else has been going on with you since you left three weeks ago. Anything exciting?”
I sniff and fiddle with the hem of my tee when I murmur out, “I got a job.”
“That’s great news, twinkle fingers. In graphic design?”
Shaking my head, I pinch my forehead before muttering, “Not exactly.”
“What then?”
I straighten in the chair and take another sip, trying to soak up all my nervous energy when I tell him about the situation with Noah and Jade. Sinnett is quiet the entire time, and for a few seconds after I’ve finished speaking, causing bile to rise in my throat.
“You’re his babysitter?” is all he can say.
“Yeah, but only two days a week,” I counter, hoping it will lessen the blow.
Sinnett sighs, and my stomach feels like it’s being punched in. “Why, Mia?”
“Why not?” My voice is barely above a whisper. “He needed someone, and I'm his neighbour. Jade seems to like having me around, and I need the money, Sin.”
He grunts, and I feel my heart sink a little. I hate disappointing my brother, and I feel as though that’s all I have been doing for the past few years. “I just worry about you.”
My hand moves up, rubbing at my elbows as I anxiously consider his words. “I know, but you met Noah. I don’t think he would do anything to harm me.”
“You think?” Sinnett’s voice rises.
I rub a little harder on my skin, feeling the rashes flare up once more.
“He hasn’t done anything to make me uncomfortable. If anything, he’s done all that he can to make sure that I feel secure when I'm with him.”
My brother grunts again, and I can just imagine him rubbing at his face with his eyes closed. “Fine. But if anything happens, you’re going to tell me straight away. I don’t care if I get speeding tickets to come kick his ass, because believe me, one hand on you and I’ll be there to knock him out,” he growls into the phone.
I bite anxiously on my bottom lip and nod. “I know you will, Sin.” I pause for a moment, glancing around at the quiet backyard before asking, “Is that what you did with Ryan?”
