Page 45 of Prove Me Wrong
ME: Thank you for doing this.
ME: And I hope she settles down for you soon. Don’t forget her lion toy when she sleeps, otherwise she’ll scream until she gets it.
Sighing heavily, I put my phone away, ignoring the dozens of other notifications. They’re not important to me.
With my head swirling, I push every thought aside when I get into the shower and turn on the cold water to cleanse my mind of the girl that’s slowly consuming me.
Chapter Sixteen
MIA
“Is she out?” Gran asks when I come downstairs, looking like a zombie. My hair feels like a matted ball of yarn, the tee I’m wearing has Jade’s mashed peas smeared on it from dinner still, and my socks are on inside out—but I guess that one isn’t really that bad. My feet ache, and my stomach is rumbling so loudly, like it has a voice of its own.
Nodding, I fall onto the couch beside her in Noah’s living room. The light from the TV screen illuminates the spacious room. My body melts into the soft fabric as Gran clasps my hand, squeezing it tightly. “You did well today.”
“Jade wouldn’t stop crying,” I mumble as I focus on the new medical show Gran is currently watching. I think it’s meant to be funny, but I’m not really listening. My brain is too exhausted to focus on the dialogue.
“That happens when they are sick,” Gran reminds me, pushing hair behind my ear and smiling sympathetically. “Bet you thought babysitting would be a walk in the park when you first agreed to help out Noah, didn’t you?”
My head turns to glare at her, and she just giggles at my silence.
My shoulders roll backwards as I stifle a yawn. “She’s a good kid. I just feel sorry for her because she must be in so much pain. And I think allshe wants is her dad because she was pushing me away for a bit, but then when it was too unbearable, she gave in and let me help her.”
Gran nods knowingly. “She is a daddy’s girl.” Her wrinkled smile deepens. “But you are doing great, Mia. It’s not easy looking after someone else’s child.”
I blink at her before blurting out, “Like you’re having to look after me?”
Her pink-stained lips pursed tightly together. “That’s not the agreement we had. You moved here to help me with my arthritis.”
“And now you’re the one taking care of me…” I mutter, huffing out a breath.
Focusing back on the TV, Gran hums and switches it off, grabbing my full attention. “So what if I am taking care of you? You were distant and alone for a really long time. And since my Joe has passed, I have been feeling the exact same way.” My heart sinks at her admission, knowing how hard it must be for her without Grandpa being around. “I just thought us being together would help. That we’d have each other to lean on.”
Her hands clutch mine tightly, and my gaze lowers to my lap. I have never hidden anything from Gran, and I’m not going to start now.
“I know I was distant after everything, but I didn’t mean to be. I was just struggling?—”
“Yes, but you never need to struggle alone, dear.” She cuts me off in her sweet, tender voice, making my eyes glass over.
Shutting them, I continue. “I know, but I needed time to understand everything, and to accept what happened. I also spent weeks in Sinnett’s apartment without stepping foot outside. I was so terrified by the idea that Ryan was out there. He didn’t know where Sin lived, but what if I ran into him outside?” I sniff softly. Gran lets me speak my thoughts inthe silence of Noah’s house. “I wouldn’t have known what to do. Would I have broken down when I saw him? Or would I have fought back to try to feel something other than fear and uselessness?”
“Mia…” Gran breathes, but I keep going.
“That’s how I felt formonths. Every time I stepped outside, I was constantly looking around, expecting him to show up to finish what he started.” I stop to rub at my forehead, feeling the ache in my chest intensifying. “Then, after eight months, I realised that I’d never see him again. That I literally wasnothingto him. He wanted one thing from me, and when I finally broke and got free from his suffocating control, he just left me broken and empty. He never wanted me for anything but to use me, and it’s a sucky feeling to have.”
Eyes prickling with tears, my lips tremble uncontrollably, but I hold it all in, burying my emotions deep down like I prefer. I hate that I’m still not in control of them. Those memories alone can bring me to tears, breathing more life into the anxious monster internally controlling me.
Gran’s saddened face falls even more when she pulls me into her comforting embrace. My throat burns as I keep myself from breaking down, swallowing away the cries that are trying to break free from my screaming lungs.
“You are not useless or broken, Mia,” she whispers into my ear, and for a minute, I want to believe her. Maybe I’m not completely fragmented. Not completely hopeless. It’s a nice thought to think, before the memories flood my mind seconds later, reminding me of how ruined and afraid I am down to my core.
“I feel like I am, Gran,” I sob, giving in to the pain throbbing in my chest. “I still can’t control my panic attacks or keep myself from shaking when there’s a man near me. If I don’t know them, then my mind instantly thinks of them as a threat. I hate it…” I admit ina low voice. “I hate the fact that I'm frightened of any stranger, while other girls don’t seem to care. They don’t flinch when a hand is brushed against their back, or panic when a man feeds them a corny one-liner in a bar.”
Gran snickers softly.
Sucking in a deep breath, my words come out as a whisper, “I just wish all of this didn’t affect me as much as it does. I wish this had never happened to me.”
Head resting on her shoulder, Gran’s rosy perfume makes my nose tingle as she embraces me closer. Being close to her helps, considering I can’t remember the last time Mum hugged me. It was long before everything happened with Ryan, that’s all I know...
