Page 93 of Prove Me Wrong
Head tilted, fingertips sliding along each smooth ivory key, I move onto the next bar when my phone dings, cutting through the classical music. Letting out a groan, my hands stop, and I glance at my phone on my lap.
SIN BIN: Come over?
Dipping my chin, I shoot him a response before changing out of my grubby trackpants and hoodie, and into a fresh pair, because I am not in the mood to wear proper clothing right now. Heading out to my car, I drive over to his apartment. It’s not too far away, but definitely not walking distance for this time of evening. The sun has almost set, the darkness well and truly swallowing up the sky, leaving streaks of burgundy, rust and indigo colouring the dense clouds. For a Tuesday night, it’s fairly busy out in the city. People wander up and down thestreet, music plays, lights flash, and cars honk. The familiar smell of fumes and dampness fills my nose as I find a parking space at the bottom of my brother’s building.
I jab the button of the elevator when I reach the foyer, after saying a quick hello to the concierge, and catch it to the top floor. The elevator opens to Sinnett’s door. I don’t bother knocking. Walking right in, Sinnett is sprawled out on his couch. My presence makes him sit up, his inky hair falling down his forehead, blue eyes watching me as I slip in.
Sinnett and Khai’s penthouse apartment is clean, minimal and expensive—everything I feel like I’m not. Rugby bags sit beside their shoes, and there are bits of their life scattered around the monochromatic furniture, the scent of pine and laundry detergent lingering in the air. I hear the city below, sirens and cars moving past, but it’s like a distant hum up here, too far away from the chaos below.
Sinnett gets up, wearing black trackpants and a Wolves shirt, and walks into the kitchen. “Want anything?”
Shoulders sagging, I shake my head and walk over to where he was lying and plop myself down, pulling a blanket over my crossed legs. He joins me, sitting beside me, sipping on a water bottle before offering some to me. I take it.
“Why did you want me to come?” I murmur, my voice still a little shaky as I keep myself from thinking abouthim.
Sinnett shrugs, turning his attention back to the TV. “Just thought we could hang out.”
I sniff a hollow laugh, hardly feeling amused by his answer. “I was happy playing piano by myself.”
“And I was happy when you smiled, but you don’t see me complaining.”
My eyes shoot to his, noticing the small quirk in the corner of his mouth. It’s there and gone in a flash, but I saw it. “Sorry,” I mumble, sipping on the water bottle again.
Sinnett rests his feet on the coffee table, stretching out before glancing back at the blaring screen.
“You don’t need to apologise. But you do need to explain, twinkle fingers.”
My eyes shut. I hate keeping things from him. I haven’t mentioned anything about Noah yet, but I can tell from the look in his darker eyes that he knows.Told you that twins have a sixth sense shared between us…“I told Mum I was coming for the job?—”
“I don’t care about the job,” Sinnett cuts me off, his tone sharpening. “What made you run away from him? What did he do to you?”
Breathing steadily, I relay everything to my brother, who listens quietly like his usual moody self. From my panic attack over Scott, to Noah telling me he loves me, and then waking up to his snarky mum, my heart sinks lower the more I talk about him. I miss him more than anything, but I don’t want to admit it out loud. As if shoving it further down, it’ll eventually disintegrate.
I don’t tell Sinnett about the fact that I cried the entire drive over, blocked Noah’s number in my phone, haven’t stopped crying for two days, and haven’t had a lick of food since being here. My appetite is nowhere to be found, quite like my smile, and I don’t see them returning anytime soon by how gutted I feel.
I could have called Noah to ask him why his mum said those things. Why she’d never see me as a worthy person, but I didn’t want to hear any of it. Noah explaining himself, possibly telling me the exact same thing as his parents might actually kill me. I can’t take another man hurting me after giving him my heart, after years of guarding it, only for it to becrushed like an empty soda can. I want to believe that this is not Noah’s doing, but it might be, and if I hear him admit that he lied to me, I won’t ever open myself up to another man. It feels like he’s pulled out my heart and stomped on it, making me choke on my own blood.
Sinnett straightens beside me, half-lidded gaze failing to meet mine as I sniff my way through the story, not letting myself crack. I’m tired of crying, of feeling weak and used. I hate my anxiety, the looming beast that haunts me, and the words that control me, breathed into me years ago that I still believe. The fear that continues to rattle me when I think about Ryan. His hands pawing at me, trying to get me complacent just to satisfy himself. Words cutting through me, warping my own perception and thoughts, forcing me down until I was aching and bruised and feeling dead inside.
I never want to feel that again. I never want to feel that weak and pliable, and Noah never did until he knew the truth of my past. He treated me right, up until his mum returned, and that’s why my mind is spiralling. I can’t seem to control my emotions right now because I was falling for him. I was starting to love him, starting to believe that he was the one who saw me for who I really am, but then it was all ruined. I don’t think I want to love someone again. All it does is hurt, and I’m tired of feeling damaged.
My brother’s arm drapes over my shoulders like a heavy scarf, chin resting on my head, holding me against him. “I’m sorry, Mia.”
Nothing comes out, because I know he feels sorry for me, but I don’t want it. This is exactly what Ryan said to me, that I'd never be anything to another man, and I hate that he was right. That I wouldn’t be enough.
“Do you really think Noahwas a part of this?”
I shrug, because honestly, I have no idea what to think anymore. I want to believe him, after seeing the desperation in his eyes, but I don’t know if I can.
Pulling away from my brother, I stare into his blue eyes, wiping under my own. “I don’t know, but I also don’t care. I’m here to move on, just like his mum wanted. She told me I’m not needed by him anymore, but Idoneed a job, and this is the only place offering me one now. I need to move on.”
He doesn’t say anything, and it makes me both relieved and bothered at the same time. He’s now the only person in the whole world I can trust, besides Gran. I thought I could trust Noah, too, but now I’m not so sure I ever can.
“I’m sorry, Mia,” he repeats softly.
My mouth tugs sideways as I dip my chin, controlling my tears, not letting my hands shake anymore. “I tried, and I wasn’t enough.” I sink my teeth into my lip, keeping them from trembling. I stand to move away, my arms wrapping around my midsection as I put distance between Sinnett and me. The coldness of his apartment brushes over me, the hairs on my arms rising to a salute. “Maybe I’m never going to be whole enough for anyone.”
“Stop lying to yourself,” my brother grits out, forcing me to look at him.
