Page 90 of Justyce
I’m quiet for a moment, thinking of the best way to approach the matter without sounding callous. “Arrow, Raine is a livewire and I’m not sure she’ll ever frizzle out. You’re going to either have to accept that and be there for her when she wants you, or you need to let go and move on.”
“How the fuck can I let her go when she continues roping me in and when I’ve loved her since I can fucking remember? When I look in the mirror, it’s not my reflection I see, it’s fucking hers. I don’t know how to let her go without actually letting her go,” he finishes with harsh whisper.
His pain is palpable and I can feel it down to my fucking marrow. I’m the last person he should take advice from, but here we are.
“You could always stop fucking her, maybe that’ll help,” I suggest, shrugging my shoulders.
“Are you serious? I can barely go a fucking day without feeling some part of her voluptuous flesh wrapped around me.” He runs his fingers through his toffee colored hair and tugs.
“I figured her seeing me with other partners would make her envious, but that green flame flares then dissipates in a blink of an eye. After all these years she still views me as a best friend, one that fucks her brains out on the regular. Why aren’t I enough for her?”
And there it is. The insecurity and ambiguity demon is ripping at Arrow’s insides. To Raine, it’s never really mattered who warmed her bed. The only thing she cares about is for the briefest of moments she doesn’t need to live inside her poison infested mind.
Raine has been through a lot in her life, something I don’t believe any of us could fix, including Arrow. There are some things that stay with us, burrowing themselves so far under our epidermis that we can’t claw the fucking memories out no matter how hard we try to rid them from our consciousness.
Before I even speak the words, I know they’re going to sound cliché coming out my mouth, but they need to be said.
“It’s not that you’re not enough for her, Arrow. At the end of the day it’s Raine, and Raine alone. You can’t control how she sees the world or the fact she views herself the way she does. She doesn’t believe in love. And after everything she’s endured, can you really blame her?”
Arrow’s face nosedives and the sandy deck becomes more interesting than the conversation with me. He knows I’m right, only he doesn’t want to admit defeat when it comes to Raine.
The air around us hangs heavy and awkward. I want to say something to console my brother, but how can I comfort him when I feel like I’ve been blown asunder from the inside out, when my mind vacillates between anger, tension and worry over what’s happening to Kenzi.
Risking a glance at Arrow, I find him leaning on the timber frame of the old veranda looking out into the vast ocean. His face is screwed up, his eyebrows pinched tight with his lips in a firm line. He seems conflicted and hurt, another emotion he’s cloaked so well over the years.
I’m about to stand when more footsteps thunder onto the deck.
Flicking my blonde hair out of my eyes, I peer up to see Raine and Acheron swaying on their feet, laughing.
I scrunch my face up in confusion because these two hate each other, then I find Arrow’s stricken face. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest as he eyes them with disdain.
The heat has kicked up a notch and I need to intervene before Arrow blows a fucking gasket.
“What’s going on here?”
Raine giggles. “Nothing!”
Acheron smirks at her, his lapis eyes glittering in the sun. That’s when I realize they’re high as fuck.
“What did you two take? For fuck sakes, we need to be out of here later on so we can rescue Kenzi and get rid of my father. And this is the time you both choose to be higher than the fucking clouds in the sky.”
“Stop being a worry wart,dad.The pills will wear off soon,” Raine heehaws, groping Acheron’s ass.
A growl emits from Arrow, drawing me from the pair and I walk to my brother to mollify his rage.
“They’re high, nothing more, nothing less. Get your shit together, Arrow. You know these two hate each other,” I utter quietly so only he’ll hear.
He issues me a tight nod, turns on his heel and storms off, kicking sand as he heads toward the water.
Bringing my hands up to my temples, I massage them in circular movements in hopes to rid the niggling headache gnawing at my skull. Any one would think these assholes are in kindergarten the way they’re behaving.
Clenching my jaw, I separate them by grabbing each by an arm and stalk through the clubhouse until I find a bathroom. It doesn’t look like much and the pale green walls and pink tiles remind me of an old person’s home. It makes me shudder.
Raine is fucking dragging, giggling like a damn child and it’s grating on my last damn nerve. “Get in the fucking shower, now.”
Her eyes bug wide when she realizes I’m dead fucking serious. Her hues flick between Acheron and me before she shakes her head no.
“I’m not showering in front of him,” she seethes.
