Page 102 of Raine
“If you like, but I won’t drop the conversation because this has got you wrung so tight and the poignancy oozing from you is suffocating, Raine.”
I feel the heat build behind my eyes, but I don’t let a single tear fall. My head hits the back of the leather seat and I think about how I’m going to start this conversation. I decide to start from the beginning.
“Arrow and I have always been close, always,” I say, then I dive into almost two decades worth of friendship that’ll ultimately perish in my dainty hands.
Gabe sits there, occasionally nodding his head and squeezing my thigh. When I trudge toward the ending I hesitate, wondering if I really want to tell Gabe about Acheron and how that sent Arrow spiraling.
The mere thought alone has the vision of his broken face perforating my mind, the image so damning and painful that I hiccup through a sob.
Clearly, Gabe senses my debacle and no doubt pain, because he looks me straight in the eye and tells me, “Nothing you could say to me would ever turn me away from you, Raine.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I force the words to work up my throat, hoping I’m not going to regret this later. But I’ve seen what lies do to people and how secrets affect everyone once the dirty news reaches the ears it was never supposed to. I’m not sure what Gabe and I are, but whatever it is, no relationship should start with falsity and half-truths.
Inhaling deeply, I exhale and feel the oxygen stutter in my chest before the words leave my mouth. “The reason why Arrow checked out and finally severed any tie to me was because he thinks I slept with Acheron."
Nervously, I risk a glance at Gabe and see his brow furrowed while looking at me. He doesn’t look disgusted with the new information; if anything, he looks a little confused.
“So, Arrow doesn’t want to be your friend because he thinks you slept with your half-brother? That’s ludicrous.”
I flinch, realizing he still doesn’t know the full story, and when he raises an eyebrow, I heave out a sigh. “I didn’t know Acheron was my brother when this happened. Although I didn’t screw him, things did get a little heated between us. Luckily, it didn’t get that far, because I don’t think either of us could come back from it. It would have been something we would have regretted later, and it would have made learning the truth about us being siblings a lot harder to swallow.”
“So why now? Why has Arrow thrown you to the wolves after all these years over this?”
I don’t miss how Gabe skims over the details I just told him, and I’ve never been more thankful for this man than I am right now.
Shrugging my shoulders, I peer out the window and look at the red and white neon sign above the diner that says Ma’s Diner. My tummy rumbles, and Gabe pulls my hand from my mouth, and I realize I was chewing on my nails, something I haven’t done for years.
“Talk to me, Sweet Girl.”
The term of endearment floods my belly and warms me from the inside out. Giving him my full attention, I gaze into his dark, stormy-hued eyes and feel a tear slide down my face.
“I think - I think it was a little too close to home for him. Through all our little ventures and the people we screwed along the way, none of them meant anything or knew who we were. They were one-night stands filled with debauchery and trying to fill our love tanks with superficial bullshit, which, in the end, didn’t top us up with what we really needed.”
“What do you mean by that?” he asks curiously.
Shaking my head, I move my hand out of his and try to think how I can explain this shit better. Instead of giving him more insight into my fucked up mind or divulging anymore about Arrow, I settle on something that’ll pack a punch he’ll feel and leave him licking the scratches he's left on his knees.
“We all have secrets, Gabe, and we all have demons we try to drown daily. How we try and accomplish that depends on the person, and I think you get that more than you want to admit.”
Before he can say anything, I reach for the door handle, open the door and push out of my Porsche. Gabe calls me back, but I close the door and stand on shaky legs, breathing in and out to try and center myself.
Gabe’s in front of me in a second, his arm wrapped around my waist, and I grip his forearm as he holds me. “Let’s go eat, Sweet Girl.”***
We sat inside Ma’s Diner for an hour with Gabe trying to shovel food down my throat, but I couldn’t stomach much; the drugs still working through my system. It surprised me how the illicit substance, still recklessly thrumming through my veins, didn’t warm me or comfort me like it used to.
Granted, I didn’t like heroin due to how addictive my personality was and the high I knew it could provide; however, the only feeling it left me with was one of being violated.
Gabe’s voice faded out to background noise, and although I knew he was trying to open up to me and give me some insight into the man he was, I couldn’t draw my thoughts away from what Avernus had planned. Not to mention my mama’s diary was wearing a hole in my mind, urging me to finish the book and find out what other secrets lay dormant and lifeless.
“Raine, baby, you ok?”
Gabe’s deep and concerned voice draws me from my ponderings and I shake the thoughts away, facing him and giving him my attention once more.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
His brow caves again, and his face scrunches up contemplatively. He doesn’t believe me, but I don’t have the time to assuage or placate him.
“You finished?”
