Page 73 of Raine
Dear Diary,
My secrets are safe with you, hidden beneath the floors I walk on. Can you keep a secret? Can I tell you what I can’t tell anyone else?
Something terrible is happening, and I can’t stop it. I tried, and I’ve landed myself in more trouble than I could ever imagine. I’m scared, so fucking scared, but I don’t know what else to do to stop this train wreck from colliding head-on. I can’t keep living like this.
Winter <3
I read the passage over and over, my blood feeling like ice sluicing through my veins. What did she do? I read on for another half hour, each entry sending trepidation to spike through every inch of my body. I’m not even a quarter of the way through, but with every entry, I can feel my mother’s fear through the old ink on the pages.
I close the book and stretch in the swinging chair, looking out to the ocean. On a whim, I decide maybe a swim will help my nerves settle and evacuate some of this fear. I used to swim a lot, but I haven’t in a long time.
Heading inside, I grab a towel from the bathroom and find a crop top and some plain underwear to swim in. Heading outside, I walk across the white sand, the grains moving over my feet, until I reach the hardened sand along the beach. I dump the towel and walk into the water, admiring the tranquility of it until I dive underneath and welcome the coldness into my bones.
Two hours later, I’m back inside, showered and making myself some packet soup from the hamper Sandra left me. I’m leaning on the bench, looking out to the water, when my phone sounds from the room.
I head toward the room, and find my phone on the bed where I threw it last night, and pick it up to see there is a new message.
Unlocking my phone, my belly freefalls when I see Gabe’s name. With shaky fingers, I click on his message, and my tummy tumbles some more.
Hello, beautiful, how is my girl? Daddy misses you.
My fingers hover over the keyboard, my body needing a fix, but my mind and heart are not ready to accept anything right now. I close out of his message with a humph, walk over to my suitcase, and pull out my dildo and Satisfyer clit vibrator.
Stripping out of my clothes, I lay on the bed and spread my legs. I know without dipping a finger inside of me that I’m wet. Slipping the eight-inch dildo inside of me slowly, I groan with each inch sinking deep inside of me, wishing it was the real thing. Once it’s fully seated, I start pumping slowly, moving my hips in tandem with my thrusts.
I grab my Satisfyer vibrator, and place it on my clit and turn it on. My body immediately bows as the suction on my nub almost drives me to orgasm. I pump my hand faster, the dildo now making a squelching sound with how wet I am. Upping the speed of the Satisfyer as well, I moan out Gabe’s name over and over, his words in my head calling me his good girl spurring me on.
When I shatter with his name on my fucking lips, my body shaking with the aftershocks of my climax, I know it’s going to be a long fucking couple of weeks.
Chapter23
Raine
The next few days go by agonizingly slowly, but I’ve started to feel better. The curtain of fog is slowly lifting from my mind, and although I feel raw, I’m thankful for the clarity but despising the emotional wreck I am.
I still haven’t spoken to Justyce, but he’s informed me no more hall passes when he messaged last night, demanding I call him today. Groaning, I cross my legs and pause Sons of Anarchy. I’d much rather watch Jax Teller, but I need to get this over with.
I pick up my phone from beside me, ignoring Gabe’s message on the screen, and dial Justyce. He picks up after three rings, and I swallow audibly at his voice.
“Rainey, how are you doing?”
“Let me talk to her.” I hear Acheron in the background, and I roll my eyes.
“I’m ok, and tell Acheron to stop having an aneurism.”
“Did you hear that asshole? Shut the fuck up.”
I giggle and have to admit to myself it’s nice to hear their voices after the near week of solitude.
“I’m good. I just need to… work through some things.”
“When should we expect you back?”
I hesitate, nibbling on my lip and wondering how to answer the question. “I’m… I’m not sure. I won’t be back for at least another week, but that may blow out too. I need time, J. Can you please give me that?”
There’s a beat of silence, and I hold my breath, waiting in anticipation for him to answer. After a few more seconds, he answers.
“Ok. But Raine, you need to check in with me, alright? No more dodging phone calls and messages from us. We may not be blood, but we are family.”
