Page 96 of Raine
Peeling herself from me, she stands back and I notice how glassy her eyes are. “Don’t cry, Jelly Bean, its ok.”
She nods her head once and wipes away her tears. Clara, Shannon and Lady all greet me, wrapping their petite bodies around mine and gifting me a hug.
Clara is the first to speak, her dark brown eyes sparking with mischief. “Soooo, what did you bring this time?”
I pick the bags up off the floor and grin. “Felt like having a sleepover with my girls,” I declare, and they all hoot.
“Hell yes! Shannon sings as she walks back to the couch, and we all follow.
They all settle in, and I take the moment to appreciate these beautiful young women, noting how much more alive and comfortable they are compared to when I first met them.
I pull all the goodies out of the bags and place my wine to the side, the four of them leaning forward to grab food.
With a mouthful of corn chips, Clara asks, “So what are we watching?”
I pause for a moment, then smirk. “How does House of a Thousand Corpses sound?”
The night was spentwith laughter, horror movies and fun. The girls had well and truly come out of their shells now, and I could see the vivacious teens they were, not the ones who were robbed of their innocence.
After the girls went to bed, I laid on the couch, ruminating over everything that had happened the last few weeks. My thoughts move to Arrow, and I’m thankful I didn’t hear or see him and Angelite again tonight because I’m not sure how I would have reacted if I did. I missed him like I was missing a limb, but I wouldn’t allow my needs to override his. He needs his space, I only hope he’ll come back to me one day and we can form a friendship again.
A lone tear slid down my face, and I wipe it away, angry that I’m again crying. I feel out of control and in shock over learning my father is, in fact, Avernus, then adding Gabe into the mix, and everything begins to snowball. These are not feelings I’m used to or enjoy at all.
Rolling to my side, I bring the throw rug up over my shoulders and reach for my phone, wishing I was curled up on the lounge at the beach house. Everything seemed simpler there, easier, regardless of me fighting my addictions, it was nice to just… be.
Unlocking my phone I read the message from Gabe, and swallow his apologies and promises like acid on my tongue. I want to trust him, but I don’t know if I ever will now, not after he harped on about being honest, only to find out he wasn’t.
Closing my phone, I roll over again and think back to my mother’s diary. I haven’t even finished it; too scared to find out what else is in that little book of darkness. I know my mother loved me, but a part of me wonders if she resented having me, resented me?
Realizing I’m not getting any sleep, I throw the rug off and tiptoe to the bedroom where the girls are sleeping. I move to Jelitza’s bed and shake her softly. Her eyes snap open, and I see the fear in them before it bleeds away to relief.
“What’s the matter, Raine?” she whispers.
“I’m going to head out.”
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t sleep, and I have a lot on my mind. Can you tell the girls that I’ll be back to visit soon?”
She nods her head, but I see the worry crease across her forehead. Reaching up, I smooth the line away and smile down at her.
“Please don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl, Jelly Bean. I’ll be fine.”
“Ok,” she says, but I know she doesn’t believe me. I don’t even know if I believe me.
Leaning down, I place a kiss on the top of her head and walk out of the room. I need to get out of here, but I have no idea where I’m going to go.
I pad through the house quietly, surprised when I look into the living area and find Arrow sprawled across the lounge, asleep with a bottle of whiskey beside him.
Standing there for way too long to be appropriate, I admire my once best friend from afar, hating the fact that the only time he looks rested is when he’s passed out.
A creak sounds behind me and I turn quickly to see Angelite watching me in a thin white nightgown that comes to her knees. She’s got no bra on, and I can see her nipples through the thin fabric, and her hair is hanging in waves over her shoulders.
“What are you doing?” she asks, and I shrug.
“Leaving.”
“Yeah, because that’s what it looked like.”
