Page 124 of Off-Limits
I'm sorry for not answering those late night calls, mama,
For tormenting and worrying you in my teenage years,
But the affliction went both ways,
And I only knew losing you was one of my biggest fears,
I'll never forget your crazy antics that sent me insane with laughter and annoyance,
The times we laughed and cried together,
Even the arguments that sent us spiralling,
And now all I have are these moments to reminisce over,
We haven't always seen eye to eye,
But let's be honest, what mother and daughter always does?
I wish I could sit with you for an hour longer,
Just be with you and talk about all that once was,
I love you mama And I miss you so fucking much,
The yearning to see your face or hear your voice again shall never dissipate,
I want you to know that I forgive you for the clusterfuck of a life we had,
Unfortunately all I have are these words I've scribbled down, unable to voice because you're gone and I'm a little too late,
Goodbye. my mama,
I feel You, I know you're close and pain free,
I'm not ready to let you go yet, I never will be,
But like sands through the hourglass, our time has now ceased,
I'll forever be indebted to you for giving me life on this earth,
For showing me love in the only way you knew how to,
It's not fair that you were taken from us so soon,
But I just want you to know that I'll always be thinking and loving you.
My voice breaks the entire eulogy, but it’s the last few sentences that leave me sobbing. Clearing my throat again, I’m about to step away from the podium when a shrill voice screams the church down, freezing me in place, but sending flowing lava of anger through my veins.
The last thing I think before I straighten my spine and shape up ready for war, is even in death, she can’t be allowed to rest peacefully.
Chapter Thirty-Six
DAMON
Dottie sobs through her entire poem, and it takes everything inside of me to stay still and not rush up to the podium and wrap her in my arms to comfort her. I’m almost at the edge of my damn rope when she finally finishes.
Releasing a heavy breath, my heart rate starts to return to normal, that is until I hear a voice that I’d be glad to never here again. It grates on my damn nerves, and when she starts spilling venom from her ugly lips, I snap upright and move across the church.
