Page 137 of Artemysia
His composure collapses and he laughs, throwing his head back. From the dais, the King of the North watches us intently.
Toryl catches his father’s eye and nods.
“He was hoping I’d have chosen by tonight, so he could make an announcement, but I couldn’t. You’re being offered an opportunity to make a difference. For an entire kingdom. For all of mankind. What we’ve learned in the last two decades can change our position in the world. It all depends on how we leverage it.”
It’s ridiculous, but the chance to make a difference resonates deeply in my heart.
He goes on, taking my hesitation as an opening. “I need someone like you by my side. Fighting, strategizing, planning for the future. You can still have your boy toy Riev on the side. I wouldn’t mind.”
I’d never consider such an extreme act, marrying him to be queen, but that kind of power could mean great change. Instead of killing one Syf at a time, fighting for my life on a daily basis, I’d make decisions that might save both kingdoms.
It wouldn’t be the worst thing to consider.
The prince curves over me so he whispers against my ear. “We both understand the responsibilities we carry. To be someone else for the sake of others. To be something on the outside that is nothing like who you are on the inside. To sacrifice what you want for the lives of others. You understand me. Beyond the stiff prick everyone else sees.”
My heart softens, just as the music changes, and he spins me around before pausing in place, as if waiting for my answer. Idounderstand him. Only in simplified children’s stories are people entirely altruistic or entirely selfish. That’s not how it works. The world is more complex than heroes or villains, “good” kingdoms and “evil” kingdoms.
He’s still learning. And there’s hope in that.
He rests his chin on my head, and I return his embrace to soften the rejection.
“I understand your intentions, but I can’t be queen. If you understandme, you’d let me return to Riev,” I say.
He grasps me tighter for a brief moment before letting go completely.
His large hands clasp my shoulder. “Think about my offer,” he says solemnly. “It doesn’t have to be now. Perhaps you’d work for me, and in a few years...”
“Perhaps for people like us, we must overcome our fears and strike a better balance between our hearts and our brains? I’ve considered your job offer, but I must decline.”
His gaze dips to me, melancholy in expression, his lips pursed—but his eyes are kind and lovely, a spring green in the golden ballroom.
I offer an apologetic smile and a small curtsy.
Before he can say more, I twist away to exit theballroom, and he doesn’t move to stop me.
When I find the stairway that leads up to my room to find Riev, I bound up the steps two at a time. Riev is what I want. As the prince said, I was offered a position of a lifetime. Where I could make the most difference.
It’s been my entire life’s work to make my actions matter. To save lives.
I couldn’t do it, though. Not in exchange for a loveless life.
Toryl’s offer helped me realize what I want most.
Curse the demons, I’d said it myself—
We must overcome our fears and strike a better balance between our hearts and our brains.
I’ve sorted out my feelings, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.
Love isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.
I need him. I need Riev.
Half a dozen red-uniformed guards line the double doors to my bedroom, three to a side. Their helmets dip in a polite bow as I pass, acknowledging my approach. The red guard closest to the bedroom moves forward with a ring of keys. He lets me in before shutting the doors behind me. I hear a click and the jangling of keys from the outside, and I’m locked in.
The bedroom is completely dark, the heavy gold curtains drawn. As my eyes adjust, I find the nearest gas lamp, turning the knob halfway to light the room in an amber glow.
The bed is empty.
