Page 126 of Untouchable
As she came back to the bed, Caleb put the tray down on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked oddly self-conscious too. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him appear so out of place. The uncharacteristically hesitant look in his eyes made her belly clench strangely.
Smiling at him shyly, she came over and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “Hi,” she said, feeling silly, like she was on a first date or something.
“Hi,” he said quietly, studying her face closely as if he were trying to read her mind.
She shifted, trying to feel her way back to familiar ground. “I thought you’d left.”
His brown eyes never wavered from her face. “After last night it would have been rather insensitive to leave you alone without a word.”
“I know, but I thought…” She cut her words off abruptly, realizing what she’d been about to say.
“You thought insensitivity wouldn’t have stopped me from doing it.” His voice held no accusation, not toward her or toward himself.
Kelly gulped. She was trying her best to play her normal sexy role here—to lure him in and keep him off guard—but her wildly fluttering heartbeat was real. And her burning cheeks were real. And the flip-flopping of her belly was real.
Something had changed. She’d felt it in herself this morning, and now she felt it in Caleb too.
As if they weren’t exactly the same people they’d been before the party last night.
Peering up at him through her eyelashes, she explained in a rush, “Yeah. I mean, no, not really.” Well, that had been absolutely brilliant. “I mean, I didn’t know if last night had been as… significant to you as it was to me.”
And that revealed way too much. Far more than she’d ever been in the habit of revealing about her own feelings.
To anyone.
Caleb lifted his eyebrows slightly. “Didn’t you?”
Damn. Despite the thing that felt different between them, she’d thought she could trust that Caleb wouldn’t want to have a soul-searching conversation. Evidently she was wrong about that too. “Well, I could see you were… unsettled by what happened, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything serious. Sometimes weird things happen, and they don’t have a lasting impact.”
“Last night doesn’t fit into that category.”
Kelly squirmed again, her cheeks still deeply flushed with what felt like embarrassment, although she had no idea why she would be embarrassed. “Okay,” she mumbled, avoiding Caleb’s deep, sober gaze. When he didn’t respond, she added, “I guess I just don’t know where to go from here. Last night was kind of hard. For both of us. Does that change things between us?”
Caleb reached a hand out and gently turned her face to the side and then up, so she was looking at him. Holding her gaze, Caleb murmured, “Kelly, listen. I know you have parts of your past that you’re not ready to tell me. But give me an honest answer to this. Do you actually want to be with me?”
It was an easy answer. An obvious answer. Just tell him yes so they could go on the way they’d been—in a half lie that had somehow become the half-truth.
She opened her mouth to answer. To speak one word. To do what she was here to do. Deceive and manipulate him.
Her throat closed around the sound. She couldn’t speak it.
Horrified, she looked away, tried to clear her throat—although she ended up gagging a little.
“Kelly?” Caleb prompted. He wasn’t like any other man would have been in this situation. He wasn’t sentimental or seductive or persuasive or reduced to awkward, mumbling incoherence. He was simply Caleb. Calm and controlled despite his earnestness, with a slight flicker of uncertainty she could still detect.
“I do,” she choked out, her whole body shaking again the way it had when she’d been on the phone with Jack and realized how desperately she wanted Caleb to be innocent. “I want to be with you.”
He lifted her chin so she had to meet his gaze, his eyes searching her expression almost desperately, as if looking for the truth of her words.
“For real,” she added. “I want to be with you for real.”
There. She had said it. And she knew it had been convincing.
Because she meant it.
For the first time in her entire life. She wanted to be with a man for real. To truly open herself up to someone. To be with him in a genuine sharing of selves. Not just a body but a whole person.
A tiny, fluttering part of herself—a part she’d thought she had vanquished for good—wanted that. Wanted it so badly her chest began to ache.
