Page 127 of Untouchable
But this was Caleb. And no matter what he was feeling now, and no matter how much he was genuinely trying to be something he’d never been before, he still might have killed her father.
So she had to hold enough back to protect herself if that was the truth that finally came to light.
Her reflections hadn’t lasted more than a few seconds, and in those seconds Caleb had raised one hand to her face. He brushedher cheek and then combed his fingers into her hair, curving them around the back of her head.
“There are things about you, Kelly,” he murmured, “that I still need to know. I don’t do well with unanswered questions. But I’m realizing the questions don’t matter as much as the answers I already have. And I’ve never once, in all my life, wanted to be this close to anyone. This is different for me, Kelly. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded, not because he expected her to but because it was the truth. She did know it.
He looked down at the floor for a minute and then looked back to meet her eyes. “I’ve never been in love. I’m forty-two years old, and this is the first time in my life when I’ve even wondered if I might be. I’m not sure if I know what love feels like.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and she couldn’t look away from the tenderness, the hesitance, the growing warmth in his eyes. She was trembling visibly now. He would have to see it.
“But I think it has to feel like this. Like… like you matter more to me than… than even I do.”
She couldn’t breathe, could barely see. Her whole body was shaking helplessly. She reached out for him, and he took her hands. Held them in both of his.
“So I’m going to say it,” he murmured thickly. “Because I really think it’s true.”
“Caleb.” She freed her hands so she could clutch at him, and he wrapped his arms around her.
“I want to say it,” Caleb said in a rough murmur, nuzzling her hair and the crook her neck. He was holding her so tightly it was almost painful. “I want to tell you, Blossom. Is that okay?”
“Yes.” She was almost crying as the emotion spiraled up in consecutive waves of fear and pleasure and grief and joy. “Tell me.”
He made a guttural sound and pulled back so he was looking her in the eyes again. “I love you, Kelly.”
She shook with stifled sobs.
He might be innocent. He had to be innocent. This man could never have killed her father.
He released a little groan and pulled her back into his arms, murmuring against her hair. “I love you. I really do. I’ve never said it before. It’s never been true before.”
She was crying for real now, helpless to stop it. She couldn’t seem to let him go. And she heard herself saying, sobbing, “I love you too. I love you too.”
It couldn’t be true. Not fully.
But the part of herself she was still holding back was so small that it barely even counted. Everything else inside her had been poured out to this man, who was somehow everything she’d ever needed and wanted, who had somehow turned her inside out, who was giving himself to her in a way she’d never experienced before.
She wanted to give herself to him too—for however long she was allowed.
She could feel the emotion shuddering through him, and he held her in a hard embrace until her crying and shaking finally stopped, until she could relax, feel safe, sheltered by his strength.
This was the way she wanted to be with him. The way she’d always wanted to be with a man but had never believed was possible.
It probably wasn’t possible now either, but at the moment it felt like it might be.
He was stroking her hair and back, soothing her tension until it had dissipated and her body had melted against his.
Then he pulled back and met her eyes again.
Caleb smiled—an intimate little smile that belonged to her alone. Then he leaned forward, pushing her back until she was reclining on the bed. Moving over her, he brushed her lips with his. “I’m glad,” he murmured. Then he sank into a deep kiss—one slower, softer, more generous, more tender than anything she’d ever experienced before.
It was beautiful. And terrifying. And the best thing she’d ever felt in her life.
She had to tear her mouth away when the panic started to close in on her, when she stopped being able to breathe.
Caleb looked like he might want to take it further, but she suddenly knew if she let him make love to her right now, she would lose the last of her defenses.
