Page 50 of Untouchable
“I know you’re just trying to help, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful. But it’s my mess.”
“I know you don’t like to depend on other people, but sometimes we can’t get out of our own messes without help.”
“I know.”
They lay in silence for several minutes. She started to stroke his chest and belly again, and he couldn’t help but like the feel of it.
Finally she said, “I should probably start figuring out what I’m going to do with my life now. I can’t stay here with you much longer.”
He tensed involuntarily for just a moment. “Why not? I’ve told you that you can stay for as long as you need.”
“I’m not your mistress, you know.”
“Damn it, Kelly,” Caleb snapped, responding to a surge of resentment and—very strangely—defensiveness. “Of course you’re not my mistress. You’re staying here because you’re in danger, and we also happen to be having sex.” He wasn’t sure why he was reacting this way. It wasn’t like him at all.
It must have to do with how vulnerable he’d felt a few minutes ago.
“You’re supporting me, and I’m fucking you. You go to work and I lie around here all day. It feels like being a mistress to me.”
“You are under no obligation to fuck me. I’m not going to kick you out if you’ve gotten bored with it. The sex is not the reason I’m letting you stay.”
It was part of the reason, he had to admit to himself. He found it unlikely he would be this interested in her, this invested in her, if they hadn’t been having sex, if the sex hadn’t been someof the best he’d had in a long time. But he was bothered by the implications of her words anyway.
She asked, “So why are you letting me stay? This situation is kind of crazy. We were strangers two weeks ago, and all of a sudden I’m living with you and sleeping with you. It makes me feel… weird.”
Caleb had no idea she’d been feeling that way, and he didn’t like things that he didn’t know. “So we won’t fuck anymore.”
Kelly groaned. “Would you stop it? I’m not saying I don’t want to fuck you anymore. You must know how… how much I enjoy it. But I don’t like to feel dependent, and that’s how I feel with you.”
He was silent for a long time, recognizing that he liked her being dependent on him. He liked that, right now, he was the only person in the world she was relying on. What that said about him, he didn’t really know.
“So what are you planning to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“I can understand why you might not want to live with me indefinitely, and honestly, I can’t keep staying here myself. It’s becoming inconvenient for me to keep commuting to the city every day for work. But surely you don’t expect me to just let you walk away when you have no resources.”
Kelly tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. So she grumbled, “I never said I didn’t have any resources. I’m hardly destitute. I can hire help if I need it. I can take care of myself.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Leave. Tomorrow morning if you want. And take care of yourself.”
“Is that what you want? Me to leave?”
He let out a brief, frustrated exclamation. “No. Damn it, Kelly. Haven’t I just said so? I want to help you. I don’t want you to leave.”
It was true, but he couldn’t believe he’d just admitted it out loud.
The words seemed to have a good effect though. She sighed deeply and was silent for a long time. She pressed herself up beside him again, burrowing under the crook of his arm. “All right. I’ll stay a little while longer, just because I feel a lot safer with you. But I’m not going to just let you support me. I’ll start figuring things out.”
“You can pay me rent if it makes you feel better.” He intentionally made his tone very dry.
He was rewarded with a little laugh. “Thanks. I might take you up on that.”
Midmorning on Saturday, Caleb found Kelly on the patio, drinking coffee and drawing something on a sketch pad.
“What are you drawing?” he asked, trying to catch a glimpse of it.
She gave a little twitch since he’d obviously surprised her, and she ducked the pad away from his view. “None of your business.”
