Page 104 of To Love or to Lose
“You’re only in eighth grade,” I tell her. “There’s no need for you to get a boyfriend right now.”
“Tell that to Winnie.” Her voice becomes shallow again. “She’s been coming over to our house to hang out with Logan without you two since eighth grade.”
I think if it were possible, Winnie’s eyes would have bulged out of her head at Mae’s comparison.
“I don’t think that’s a comparable situation,” I say, glancing around the table at the other girls. “Winnie and Logan hadbeen friends for years even before they started hanging out separately.” This is only getting messier.
“It’s not fair,” Mae whispers, barely audible. “It’s not fair that she gets Logan all to herself.”
The turn the conversation took is not one I was expecting. We had all assumed Mae was upset because she thought Winnie and Logan were more than friends. In reality, she’s more upset about the fact that she feels her brother is being taken from her.
Eloise leans toward me, whispering in my ear, “Maybe we should call Logan.”
I grit my teeth. “I’m not sure if that would be helpful, or if it would just add fuel to the fire.”
It’s hard for me to discern situations I’m not involved in emotionally, and while I’m connected to Winnie, I don’t know the situation. I’m mainly here because of my sister, which disconnects me from the conflict at hand.
Even with the barrier I have to the circumstance, I can tell that the conversation is making Winnie uncomfortable.She stands from where she’s sitting, and her voice cracks when she says, “I think I need some fresh air.”
Eloise glances at me with wide eyes, looking between me and Winnie.
“Just give her a minute.”
Once the bell above the door rings, signaling Winnie’s exit, I lean closer toward the three girls.
“I’m not going to drag this conversation on any further, so you three need to listen to me.” Shockingly, they all sit up straighter. “What you guys did was extremely dangerous, and while I’m glad you’re all okay, this can’t happen again.”The girls nod, seeming remorseful enough to where I don’t feel the need to continue my reprimanding.
I wish I could give better advice to calm their longing for teenage rebellion, but the truth is, I have nothing.I’ve never rebelled in the slightest.
Of course, I’ve taken part in what might be considered deviant activities, like going to parties and drinking underage, but I’ve never done any of that as a scheme of disobedience.I’ve never felt like the only way for someone to pay attention to me was to act out, because the only thing I’ve wanted to be noticed for have been the things I’m good at, like school.
As I sit in this diner, with three scared girls and my two best friends nearby, the only thing I can think is that behind the shell of my being—the one where I am strong and independent, loud, and outspoken—there is a part of me that wishes I could feel how Mae does right now.
I wish I could do something as seemingly simple as sneak out with a group of boys to get my emotions across.
To feel heard.
Winnie reenters the diner, her phone dropping from her ear as she approaches the booth again.If I had to guess, she called Logan, and not as an act of betrayal toward Mae, but because she needed the comfort.
Eloise stands when Winnie sits, grabbing the empty baskets from the table. “Let’s get you girls home.”
This is not how I had expected my night to go, and yet here I am, standing in the driveway of the Hart’s house.
Eloise looks gob struck as she looks up at the house; it has to be one of the biggest ones either of us have ever seen—rivalingeven the Callaghan mansion. “Are you sure you live here?” She asks as she grabs Gracie’s duffel bag from the trunk.
“Pretty sure.” Gracie responds before trotting up to her front door. Eloise and I follow closely behind.
“Are your parents’ home?” I ask as she rings the doorbell.
“Nope, just Briar.”
The front door swings open, and standing behind it is a very much dressed-down Briar compared to how I usually see her.She’s the complete opposite of Gracie’s blonde hair, blue eyes and round face, with her high cheekbones and brown hair that falls just past her chin.
Briar’s confusion is evident in her bright green eyes, making me feel the need to explain. “There was a bit of a situation, and we were bringing Gracie home.”
Briar looks directly toward Gracie. “What did you do?”
“It’s not a big deal!” Gracie responds, looking down at her shoes.
