Page 113 of To Love or to Lose
Everyone’s picking at their plates during dinner, which makes everything even more awkward.
“So.” Logan breaks the silence. “Jameson’s leaving?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I say quickly, which makes Mae drop her fork and stand from her chair.
“You’re actually thinking about leaving?” I can barely look at her face, seeing it filled with devastation.
It’s been made apparent how much Mae hates change, and now that she’s just gotten use to having me around, I’m thinking of leaving again. That can be difficult for someone
“Jameson is going to make the choice that is best for him,” Kai cuts in, his voice calm.
“Mae, I haven’t decided yet,” I start, finally able to look her in the eye. “But when I do, I promise you it will have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me.”
“None of us want him to leave,” Logan says, mainly to Mae, but I can tell his message is also directed toward me. “But ultimately, it’s his choice. He’s going to have to go back to London eventually.”
“But not now,” Mae says, tearing up. “You still have prom, graduation, and your speech with Gen.”
I sigh. “We’ll see, Mae.”
I can see why she’s so upset. She’s young and can’t see the full picture as well as the rest of us can. She doesn’t understand that this will be better for everyone because all she cares about is that I’m leaving.
“Okay. Who wants dessert?” Wren smiles, trying to break the tension in the room. She walks into the kitchen before anyone even answers.
“I can’t believe you’re seriously considering this,” Logan tells me under his breath, looking between Mae and me.
I’m being honest when I say, “It’s a tough call, man.”
Logan has become like a brother to me, and as someone who grew up a single child, the bond we have is something I don’t want to leave behind.But every time I attempt to make my decision of whether I want to return home or not, all I can think about is the difference between the negative effects my departure would have on Logan, and the positive ones it would have on Genevieve.
The reasons for me to stay are weighing on me heavily, but the reason for me to go is being able to make a girl’s dream come true.
I’ve been saying the entire time I’ve been here that betraying Genevieve was never a choice of mine, but now—just as we get on good terms—ithasbecome one.
How can I decipher whether it’s fair to do this to heragain, when we’ve already resolved the problem?
And how could I ever think of giving Genevieve a genuine reason to resent me?
Chapter Thirty
126 days until graduation
As I enter Logan Callaghan’s house, I am immediately shocked by the vast amount of chaos.
He was not kidding when he said he wanted the end of the semester party to be the craziest one yet.
Winnie, Eloise, and I have only just entered the foyer, but we can already see all the furniture has been removed from the living room, making it so there’s room for at least five beer pong tables.
“Oh, my God,” Winnie says, taking in all the different decorations and the DJ in the dining room. “This is absolutely insane.”
“Does anyone see Logan?” I ask, beginning to push my way through the crowds of people. Eloise is at my side and Winnie is holding onto my wrist as they both try to keep up.
Eloise is scanning the crowd but ends up looking back toward me with a wide-eyed expression. “There is no way we’re going to find him.”
“Think about it.” I yell over the music. “Where do we find Logan at every party?”
“He usually finds us!” Winnie replies.
“Come on,” I groan, continuing to drag them along with me.
