Page 18 of To Love or to Lose
Fuck whatever scientific reasoning I spewed, my blood most certainly stops circulating faster when I hear his voice.
In fact, I think that cold-hearted asshole’s presence alone is forcing my blood to ice over.
If Genevieve Alderidge is the fire in the pit sitting between us, I am the ice she’s striving to melt.
Every time her eyes fall on me, her hatred is prominent, and I don’t even mind.
Her hating me will only make it easier for me to present a valedictorian speech alongside her without feeling an ounce of guilt.
However, Genevieve intrigues me. Her attitude toward people makes me question whether she truly feels indifferent toward everything that doesn’t concern her, or if it is just a front she puts up around me.
She’s on her phone while everyone else is talking. I notice she doesn’t involve herself in conversations unless she’s directly addressed, or if it’s to correct someone.
To me, she’s rude. To everyone else sitting around her, she’s herself.
I can’t help but find it interesting how nobody takes notice of how cold she is. Her domineering attitude should make her insufferable to her friends, yet it doesn’t, and I can’t understand why. Everyone should be irritated with her, but they’re not. It makes me wonder if this is how she always acts.
“Do you not care about anyone other than yourself?” I ask, unable to keep it to myself any longer, and Genevieve looks up from her phone.
“Are you talking to me?” She sets her phone down in her lap, making a show of giving me her full attention.
“There’s no one other than you I would be talking to. Nobody else is blatantly ignoring everyone.”
She looks at me like I’m a parasite. Like I’m just a burden that is below her from every stance.
“The only person I’m ignoring here isyou,” Genevieve replies.
“It doesn’t seem like you’re only ignoring me when you haven’t looked up from your phone or talked toanyonein almost an hour.”
“You are unbelievable,” she sighs, getting up from her chair and walking further toward the yard.
I stand up as well. “I’munbelievable? You can’t be serious!”
“Yes, you!” She’s standing near the pool, almost like she’s fighting the urge to look at me. “You’re the one who came all theway across the ocean toruinmy senior year! And now you have the nerve to call me self-centered?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” I yell, nearing her again as she makes her way toward the other side of the pool. “I earned the opportunity the same way you did.”
“No!”She turns toward me. “You got the speech because our school doesn’t want agirlto be the center of attention for once!”
I am baffled at her outburst. “Who said this has anything to do with gender?”
“I don’t know if you get this, but everything at that goddamn school is based on gender.” Her voice is level now. “I had to beat out every competitor by a longshot, because if there had been evenoneboy who stood the slightest chance against me, he would have won. They would have given me the same excuse they’re currently spewing, about how he won because he had more to show than academics. Maybe he played basketball, or football, oranythingthat would have given him the advantage in the end.”
“I blew everyone out of the water to avoid that from happening to me. My win would have to beundeniable.” I take a step toward her. “You took that away from me, all because you’re aboy.”
I feel in my gut that I should say something to diffuse the situation, to make her understand that her efforts didn’t go to waste, but my subconscious is telling me that it wouldn’t do any good.
Instead, I say what I’m feeling. “If you knew all of that, then maybe you should have taken up a sport.”
I’m close enough to her now to see her eyes flare. We’re also close enough to the edge of the pool for her to push me in.
“You’re a fucking dick,” she says numbly, taking a step back so that she can lunge into the back of my shoulders, trying topush me into the pool. I turn away, facing her before she shoves me again.
I know I’m going in now, the least I can do is take her in with me.
She goes to push me one last time, with all her force, and before I’m too unsteady, I wrap my arm around her waist.
Genevieve screams as she crashes into my chest, aware of her mistake.
