Page 50 of To Love or to Lose
We fall quiet, not knowing what else to say. Before Jameson can try to mend the silence, I walk back toward the table we were sitting at.
I sit in the chair with my knees up to my chest, resting the book on my kneecaps as I start the first page.
I would have never thought I would let Jameson pick out a book for me, but I allow my mind to justify it.I didn’taskhim to choose what I read; therefore it means nothing.
When Jameson returns to the table, he continues reading as I do. One of his legs is crossed over the other, and his book rests against the table.
After a while, my eyes grow heavy and I set my book down on the table.
Jameson leans forwards resting one of his elbows on the table. “Does this place ever close?” He whispers in question.
“From three a.m. to four a.m. for cleaning, but other than that, no.”
“Do you work here or something?” I think he’s wondering because he noticed how Mrs. Stephens would come and check up on me.
“No, I’m just here often.” I look up at the clock, it’s almost one in the morning. Collecting my bags, I say, “I should get going.”
Jameson nods. I figured he would leave when I did, but he doesn’t make any attempt to move from the table when I stand.
“Well, I’ll see you around,” I say in an attempt at an agreeable goodbye.
“Yeah,” he answers, leaning back in his chair. “See you, Genevieve.”
By the time I get home, I’m already regretting what I’ve done.Jameson and I are not friends, and we shouldn’t act like it.
As I try to wrangle in my thoughts, I walk up the stairs to my bedroom. Both of my parents are traveling for work, and the house is eerily quiet since Gwen is over at the Callaghan's house, where she normally spends her time on weekends and almost every day after school.
When I reach my bedroom, there is nothing out of place, exactly how I like it. I place my backpack on my desk chair and open it quickly.
I refuse to let my room be littered with the thoughts of Jameson; I takeThe Age of Innocenceout and I throw it in the garbage can.
I should feel a bit of remorse as I hear it hitting the bottom of the can, but I don’t. A perfectly good book has gone to waste because I can’t control my feelings.
How selfish of me.
Chapter Fourteen
183 days until graduation
My first Thanksgiving, not only in America, but ever, is quite lackluster if I do say so myself.
Logan decided to host a Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us as well as the girls—Genevieve, Winnifred, and Eloise—to mark the occasion of my firsttrueAmerican holiday.
Not only have I had to eat more food than I ever have in one sitting solely because of tradition, but I’ve also had to watch Genevieve and Winnie push food around their plates for most of it. Both have barely eaten anything the entire dinner.
Genevieve and I haven’t spoken since I saw her at the bookstore, which in part has to do with the fact that she’s been avoiding me, but also because I don’t know what I would say to her.
“How do you like it, Jameson?” Eloise asks as I take another bite of turkey.
Most of these foods I’m familiar with, so the meal itself doesn’t seem completely barbaric.
I look up, breaking out of my thoughts. “I don’t know if it’s good enough to have an entire holiday based around it, but it’s okay.” The table goes quiet again.
Wren had called Logan into the kitchen a few minutes ago, and the fact that Logan is momentarily missing from the table is abundantly clear by the lack of conversation.
Winnie looks uncomfortable, dangling her fork over her plate as she looks back and forth between the entrance of the dining room and the table.
Genevieve doesn’t look up from her plate now that I’m sitting across from her, and the only reasonable explanation is she’s embarrassed.She feels as if our interaction at Meet in the Margins has made her too vulnerable, and I can tell it’s putting a strain on her competitive nature.
