Page 53 of To Love or to Lose
“Anything you’ll give me!” He stands, running his fingers through his hair before locking his hands together behind his head. “God, Genevieve. I’ll takeanything!” His voice falters, like he knows his request is a sinking ship, and the two of us might as well be captains.
His reaction fuels my reaction. I stand so he’s no longer towering over me. “I have nothing left to give you, Jameson.” My voice is pained, and I know he notices.
“Nothing left?” He asks with a satirical laugh. “You haven’t given me anything to begin with!”
“Because I want to hate you!” I finally break, forcing Jameson back, making his shin hit the couch.
I walk over to the bookshelves that line the far left wall, clutching onto the wooden shelves as I take a deep breath and try to recollect my thoughts.
Jameson takes a few steps forward, but I hear him sigh and stop in his tracks—as if he knows it’s not a good idea for him to approach.
“I never intended for it to be this way,” he tells me. I can tell that he’s attempting to regain his composure. “It never had to be like this.”
“What did you think it was going to be like between us?” I turn to face him. “Did you think I was going to welcome you with open arms when you’re vying for my spot as Valedictorian?” I don’t even realize I’m yelling until I bring my hands up to my face and feel how hot my cheeks are. I feel as if I’ve been set aflame.
“This wasn’t my choice!” He yells back.
“But you could have done something about it.” My teeth clench and unclench as I try to control my volume. “You’ve known since the beginning how important it was to me.”
“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe being Valedictorian was my dream too?” His voice is full of hurt. I know his intentions aren’t to hurt my feelings, but it sends a dagger straight through my heart.
Jameson is overwhelminglygood.Deep down, I know it, but every time our lives overlap in a new way, it’s like we’re weaving ourselves a dangerous bracelet, and while I know Jameson wishes it could be one of friendship, it can’t be.
It never will be.
I can’t help what comes out of my mouth next. “Well, maybe you should have stayed in London.” I’ve gone completely numb, to the point where my cheeks don’t feel like they’re on fire anymore.I’ve dipped myself into a cold bath of animosity, and it’s chilling me to the bone.
“I don’t understand what you wanted me to do, Genevieve.” He runs his hands roughly over his face. “I never knew I would be competing against someone until you were sitting next to me in the office.”
I feel tears well behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. “You could havedefended me.You never did, not once.”
“I told you I was sorry on the first day!”
I roll my eyes. “You did that to placate me.”
He sighs, as if I’m not understanding. “I did that because I understand where your frustrations are valid, and I don’t want to take this victory away from you.”
“You already did!” I’m almost at the point of screaming. “You took away my victory the moment you got here.”
Jameson takes another two steps, nearing me yet again. This time he doesn’t stop until he gets within arms’ length. “I know you want me to be the villain in your story, I get that, but if you think for a second that I wouldeverintentionally make you feel lesser than you are, then you are completely fucking wrong, love.”
There he goes again with the nicknames.
“Stop it.” My eyes well as he takes another step closer. “Jameson.”
The air between us thickens when he doesn’t listen. He takes another step, and my breaths become shallow at his proximity. Our feet are nearly touching, and if I leaned forward at all, my forehead would hit his chin.
His height is intimidating. Not because I’m afraid of him, but because with my 5’8” frame, he towers several inches above me.
Jameson’s eyes lock with mine, and my heart spring-loads itself in my chest. I can hear it beating in my ears.The way he looks at me makes me feel like my skin is on fire, in danger of melting right off. Then, he grips both of my wrists.
He leans down enough to make the breath I was inhaling catch in my throat. “If you want to hate me, that’s fine.” His lips brush against mine, making me gasp as I feel his breath against my lips. “Just don’t forget, Genova, you and me.” He forces my wrists to connect with the bookshelf behind me. “We bleed the same.”
“Jameson.” The faint sound of his name is barely audible, and by the time I gain the courage to say more, he’s already backing away from me and releasing my wrists from his grasp.
He turns toward the door with the slightest smirk on his face before he makes his way toward the French doors and out of the room.I practically fall onto the leather chaise in front of me, my heavy breathing the only sound echoing off the walls as I comprehend the fact that I came within millimeters of kissing Jameson.
All it would have taken was one brisk movement, and I would have kissed my biggest rival.
