Page 95 of To Love or to Lose
I feel disgusting.
“I’m going to shower.” I say as I stand, heading toward the bathroom as I pass. Jameson hands me my toiletry bag that was sitting on top of my suitcase. “Thanks.”
“Hey,” he says, stopping me from fully entering the bathroom. I turn toward him. “We’re good?”
I smile. “We’re good.”
“Wait.” Eloise raises a hand to stop me from continuing. “So, you two made up? After everything, you just made up?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “I think we both realized it just wasn’t worth hating each other over anymore.”
“So, you guys are good now?” Winnie asks. She joined Eloise and I for lunch after protesting that she felt well enough to come.
I’m glad she’s feeling better today, since Logan is still sick and stuck in the hotel room.
“I mean we’re not best friends, but…” I trail off.
“But?” Eloise mirrors in question.
“I’m done being angry at the world, and I’m done acting like being Valedictorian is the only thing that matters,” I say, a tone of finality in my voice.
“It may not beallthat matters, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter at all,” Eloise replies.
“I’m not saying that. I’m done fighting for something when its result is already set in stone.”
Eloise looks confused by my response. “What happened between yesterday and today that made you go through this sudden transformation?”
“Jameson’s always been civil with me, and after last night, I came to the conclusion that it’s not worth it to hate him anymore.”
“Civil?” Eloise laughs, “So him telling you that you should have taken up a sport means nothing?”
“He was provoked,” I grit my teeth. “And he apologized.”
“Oh, so an apology makes up for everything?” she asks.
I let my hand fall to the table, making my cup rattle. “What is your problem, El?” She was the one who was Team Jameson from the beginning, and now that I’m claiming cease fire, she’s acting like this?
“I’m sorry.” She sighs, running a hand through her hair. “I’m just confused on how you’ve had this revolutionary change of perspective in the past twelve hours.”
“Look at my hands,” I hold them out, letting the two of them see the bandages for the first time. “And my head.” I pull my hair back, showing the side of my forehead. “And my knees look just as bad.”
“What—”
“I tripped up the stairs of the hotel, then fell down them, and I got hurt,” I state. “Jameson found me, concussed and almost unconscious, and brought me back to the room. He took care of me, made sure I was okay.”
“Are you okay?” Winnie asks.
“Even after that happened between us,” I sigh, feeling like I’m being pummeled with emotion. “Jameson is agoodguy; he is a reallyreallygood guy. And I’m angry.” I bow my head, looking at my jeans. “I’m angry it took me so long to realize it.”
“What happens when we get back?” I ask Jameson. It’s late, and after a few hours of painful skiing, we’re back in our hotel room.
Tomorrow morning, we’ll get on a bus to go back to Fairwood. Once we’re home, I’m not sure how Jameson and I are going to go about solving who gets Valedictorian.
“What do you mean?” He questions.
We’re sitting on the bed, relaxing in the comfortable silence of the room while Jameson re-wraps my hand in bandages.
“Do we go back to how it was before?”
