Page 104 of Hypothetical Heart
I come up, wiping water from my eyes, and find her grinning, her face glowing with pure joy. “You are so going to regret that,” I warn.
She squeals as I chase her, sending ripples through the water. When I finally catch her, I scoop her up and spin her around, her laughter echoing in my ears. She holds onto my shoulders, her wet skin slipping against mine as I let her down, the world around us fading into nothing but the two of us, the lake, and the stars overhead.
Her breathless laughter dies down, and for a moment, we’re just standing there, close, too close. I feel her heartbeat against my chest, and she looks up at me, her eyes soft and warm in the moonlight. There’s something unspoken between us, something that’s always been there but feels so much closer tonight.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” I say, my voice quieter now, the teasing edge gone.
She smiles, her eyes sparkling. “Maybe. But you love me for it.”
I swallow hard, my heart pounding. There’s a truth in her words that hits me harder than I expect. “Yeah,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I do.”
The space between us feels charged, like it could break open any second. But instead of saying more, she reaches up and brushes my wet hair back, her fingers grazing my cheek for just a moment longer than necessary.
“Come on,” she whispers, tugging on my hand. “Let’s go sit by the fire.”
I let her pull me back toward the shore, the weight of everything I didn’t say hanging between us. We sit down by the bonfire again, the warmth seeping into our skin as we quietly watch the flames.
After a while, our conversations come to a close, and the fireworks finish up. We all clean up the best we can before heading out.
“Ready?” I ask as Winnie buckles her seatbelt.
“Yes, do not go fast,” she warns me.
“This car can go zero to sixty in three seconds and you don’t want me to go fast?” I mock surprise.
“I don’t want to die,” she replies seriously, her eyes telling me everything I need to know.
The gravity of the situation weighs on me. The fact that Winnie’s mom died in a car accident makes her more cautious of cars than the average person.
“I won’t go fast,” is all I say.
“Thank you.”
Trauma does horrible things to people. Sometimes, it makes them afraid or upset in certain situations. Sometimes, it makes them reckless in their own life.
But sometimes, it shows you just how much life is worth living, and I’d do anything to honor Winnie’s wish to keep living in light of her mom’s death, because she didn’t alwaysfeel that way.
There had been days for her when the grief was too much, and she thought being with her mom would make her better off. She never tried, thank God, but she’s told me she thought about it.
Sadness is a dark tunnel, and sometimes, it’s easier to get lost than try to find your way out. But there isn’t a day I don’t silently thank Winnie for finding the light at the end of it.
Winnie grabs the aux cord, not even bothering to ask because she knows I’ll tell her to do whatever she wants.
She switches between songs, never letting one play all the way through before skipping to the next one. Some people would find her tendencies infuriating, but I am purely fascinated by her.
When I pull into the driveway of her house, I get out while she gathers her things, opening her door for her and helping her carry her stuff into the house.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asks from the doorway as I head back to my car.
“Yeah, of course,” I reply.
She nods, and I wave as I get back in my car. It may be unnecessary for me to pull into her driveway just to have to back out and pull into mine next door, but I’m not worried about it.
She blows a dramatic kiss from the front door before she shuts it, and I pretend to catch it as she watches through the glass.
That girl has been the center of my life for as long as I’ve ever known. She enraptures me in every way of the word, and I don’t think I could ever adore someone the way I adore her.
Winnie Carter is the sun and all the stars, but most importantly, I am the earth, and my life revolves around hers.
