Page 19 of Hypothetical Heart
“You called my dad?” Winnie asks, her head against my chest.
“Of course I fucking did,” I say. “That was terrifying, Win. I panicked, so I threw my phone at Gen and told her to call your dad because it was the first thing I thought to do, and he’s a doctor.”
“That’s fine,” she responds. “Everything’s fine. This just happens sometimes.”
I finally reach the car, open the backseat, and set her down, pulling the seatbelt over her before hopping in next to her.
“What do you mean, this just happens sometimes? Why is this the first time I’m hearing of this?”
Winnie is my best friend, and if there’s something wrong, I always want to know. I understand that I can hit the ceiling at times, especially when it comes to her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be in the loop.
I can keep my composure when needed… most of the time.
“Do you remember when we were freshmen in high school, Eloise and Evie locked us in the closet and I freaked out? That was a panic attack, the first one I ever had.”
I do remember because it was one of the scariest moments of my childhood. “Yeah, but I thought that was only a one-time thing?”
“For a while it was, but then it happened again in ballet last year when I was stressing over the choreography and another time when?—”
“Last year!?” My brain can barely keep up because anger is beginning to seep in. Not at Winnie, never at Winnie, but at the situation itself. “This happened last year, and you never told me?”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“I just held your limp body in my arms for far longer than I ever would have liked, Winnie. I think we’re past me being worried.” I grab the car door handle, not bothering to wait for the rest of our friends, and pull it shut.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, making me feel guilty.
The last thing I ever want to do is upset Winnie or make her feel like anything of this is her fault.
“Listen to me, Win.” I grab both of her hands, resting my knees on the car's floorboards in front of her. “Anything there is to know about you, I want to know. I am president of the Winnifred Carter fan club, and I cannot handle being uninformed like this. I don’t care if you email me write-ups, or make an Excel sheet, or fuck, send me a goddamn carrierpigeon. I want to know.” I take a breath. “Somehow, someway, you need to let me know these things for my own sanity, please.”
Her eyes are tearful as she nods, squeezing both of my hands in hers. “Okay,” she says, giving my heart the liberation it needs to beat steadily again.
It doesn’t mean much though, because my heart still hurts, and I’m only her friend in this situation. I’ve done everything with this girl, given her every part of myself, and it hurts that it’s not our time yet.
And fuck, if I didn’t realize how much I cherished Winnie before, I sure as hell did tonight.
6
Flashback: 4 years ago
“What do you mean you’re leaving?! Let us out!” I kick the wooden door, not expecting it to budge, just trying to gain their attention. “This isn’t cool!”
I can’t see in the dark of this closet, but I know Logan is giving me a pointed look.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be right back!” Genevieve shouts.
“Yeah, we’re just going to get food!” Eloise says, sounding far away.
For the first time, Logan stands from his seated position on the carpet, banging on the door with me. “Let us out!” His voice booms louder than mine, and for a moment, I’m hopeful that it will make more of an impact.
It doesn’t. The door stays closed, continuing to trap us within its depths.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Then we hear the footsteps trail through the room, signaling that we’re now alone.
We have no idea how long we’ve been left in here. Only long enough to know this ‘master plan’ is not working. Just like we had told them it wouldn’t when they first shoved us in here.
Genevieve and Eloise want us to go to homecoming together. They think because it’s our freshman year, it’s time we start to admit we have feelings for each other.
