Page 3 of Hypothetical Heart
We’ve established that she can’t see herself loving him, but now I’m curious if this is the reason. She shouldn’t have to give up on the possibility of finding someone just because he didn’t like me.
If she ever got with another guy, there wouldn’t be a second where I didn’t wish it was me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand in the way of her getting what she really wants.
“You sound ridiculous.”
“I’m being serious.”
“This isn’t serious!” she shouts, frustrated that there is something I’m not understanding. “Nothing was ever going to happen between Hayden and I. You really think I would even think about throwing away my friendship with you for someone I can’t even consider thinking seriously about?”
“I just want to make sure that you’re okay giving that up.”
“I couldn’t care less about giving him up.” She pauses, looking up at the sky and letting the rain cascade down her face. “But I can’t bear the thought of getting rid of you. I made the decision, and it was an easy one to make.”
I sigh out of relief. “I would have done the same thing, Win.”
“I know.” She smiles. “I thought about the things you’d do for me, no questions asked. I know there is no one else who would go to that extent for me.”
I read between the lines of her words, and the only thing I can hear is,nobody cares about me the way you doand she is 100% correct.
There’s a break in the rain, like a sign that everything is settling.
“I didn’t mean to get mad at you earlier,” I tell her.
“I deserved it.”
“No, you didn’t. It was my fault you were going on those dates to begin with. I was terrified, Winnie.”
Her face pales. “Of what?”
“Admitting how I feel about you.”
Winnie freezes. “What?”
“God, Win. I thought it was obvious for the longest time.”
She shakes her head, taking a step back. “Thoughtwhatwas obvious?”
“My entire life has revolved around you, Winnie.” My lungs feel tight from my admission, and yet I keep going. “You’re right, I would quite literally do anything you asked me to. I spent my entire life loving myself enough so that you would never have to because I was convinced you never would.”
“Logan—”
“This isn’t me begging for your love, but goddammit, Winnie. I’ve spent my entire life waiting for you.” A tear falls down her face, and for a moment, I fear that I said something wrong. “Winnie, I’m?—”
“You thought you were being obvious?” She soundsfrustrated. “Logan, I’ve spent my entire life convinced that we would never be anything but friends.”
“So, we feel the same way?”
“No, Logan,” she sighs, throwing her hands up. “You’ve known you have these feelings for me. You’ve just had to hide the fact. Meanwhile, I’ve spent my entire life doing everything in my power to avoid how I feel about you. There hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t said to myself,you need to stop thinking about him. That isn’t something I can untrain my mind to do in a day.”
“I’m sorry, Win.” My hand finds hers, her fingers slipping through mine. We could blame it on the rain and how slippery our hands are, but neither of us wants to. “I had no idea.”
“Yeah.” She uses her other hand to wipe away tears. “Me either.”
If I ever thought it was possible for this to happen, me and Winnie becoming something more, I would have made sure it didn’t happen like this.
Because what does this say about whether we would last or not if the first admission of us liking each other has her crying in the rain?
It doesn’t seem like good odds.
