Page 44 of Hypothetical Heart
“Gen, do you remember when we told Logan about Winnie’s date freshman year?” Eloise laughs.
“Oh, he was pissed,” Genevieve replies.
“Really?” I ask, and they both look at me like I’ve grown three heads.
“Winnie, that boy has been in love with you for as long as he’s known you.”
Flashback: 4 years ago
“Did you hear the news?” Eloise asks as I take my seat at the lunch table.
“What news?”
“Well, that answers my question.” She pauses, building up the anticipation before saying, “Winnie has a date this weekend!”
She might as well have punched me in the sternum because that’s what it feels like. Every breath I try to take is strangled, and I try to cover up how I’m practically gasping for air with a cough. “What?”
“Yeah, a guy in her English class asked her to get coffee on Saturday!” Genevieve smiles. “Isn’t it exciting?”Not in the slightest,is all I’m thinking.
“Who is this guy?” I scoff, picking up my sandwich and taking a monstrous bite. I need to muffle myself before I say something I shouldn’t.
“His name is Hayden,” Eloise says.
“He sounds like a fucking punk,” I say with my mouth full.
“Okay, no need to go all big brother,” Genevieve laughs.
“Don’t even go there.” The thought of being seen as Winnie’s big brother makes me cringe. It’s not a title I have ever claimed, nor do I ever want to.
“Why is this such a big deal to you?” Eloise asks teasingly, poking me in the arm.
“I think it’s pretty obvious why it’s such a big deal,” Genevieve replies before I can.
“Because I care about Winnie and don’t want her to get hurt.” They both give me a skeptical look. “Look me in the eye and tell me you are one hundred percent sure Hayden is a good guy.”
“I talked to him today,” Eloise says, stealing a fry from my plate. “He seems really nice.”
“I didn’t ask if he seemed nice. I’m asking if he’s a good guy, as in: he doesn’t have a criminal record or talks offensively to women.”
“You really think we would let our best friend go on a date with a guy we know will treat her like shit?” Genevieve scoffs. “You’re not the only one who cares about her, Logan.”
“Gen, that’s not what I’m saying.” My hands reach up to grab my hair. “I’m sorry, this is just so unexpected.”
I’m frustrated that I didn’t hear it from Winnie. I wish she would have been the one to tell me she was going on a date. And maybe that’s me being selfish because I feel like she’s moving on from something that never happened.
I like to believe that if she had told me she was going on a date with someone else, then I would have told her not to. Maybe, just maybe, I would have finally built up the courage to tell Winnie exactly how I felt about her.
But I can’t keep holding her back. I can’t keep acting as if she’s mine because she’s not. This is something I have to let her do.
“I should go,” I tell them, and by the looks on their faces, they can read between the lines. Winnie’s going to be here any minute, and I can’t handle talking to her about this.
Not now. Not ever.
I get up from the table, but before I can make it far, I feel a hand wrap around my arm. “Logan,” Genevieve sighs.
“I’m fine, Gen, really.” I keep walking, and she follows.
“Do you want me to tell her not to go?” She asks, stopping me in my tracks. “Because I will. I don’t know whether it will hurt her, but if it will hurt you more to watch her go on a date with someone else, I will tell her not to.”
